Chapter 60
Hesther Alvarez Bernal: My Partner in Life, Ministry, Marketing, Publishing, Farming, Guiding our Children & Fighting Her Hardest Battle --Cancer
After our marriage in 1978, six months later, Hesther decided to resign from her work at Maao Planters Association. She had worked there since she was a college student. She resigned to join me in Iloilo City. It was a hard decision on her part, leaving a permanent job, and be part of my ministry, which carries an uncertain future.
In our ministry, there were feelings of uncertainty. During our time, Pastors were often called by church only for 1 year term. When our term was nearing its end, Pastors wait for a possible recall. The waiting was often painful and hard.
We rented the house of Rev. Apolonio Francia, near the railway in Jaro. We stayed there for nearly two year. I was assigned by Rev. Edwin Lopez at CPBC national office. I worked as Deputy for Projects. I will assist him in projects development and implementations in the Convention. In order that she will not feel bored, she made handkerchiefs with crochettes on the edges. She could make several dozen a week. That gave her some income. Hesther has always a friend here, and friends from abroad.
Hesther got involved in ecumenical women’s works. She joined people’s rallies in Iloilo City together with Baptist groups. She also joined Deli Baclagon, Inday Asis and other women training in Manila, which was scheduled when there was a coming national people’s marches. She joined the People’s March, with participants from the NCCP and other ecumenical groups.
It was great a events in Manila with thousands upon thousands people marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984
It was great events in Manila with thousands and thousands peoples marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984.
It was during a medical check-up at NCCP after the People’s Long March that she learned she was pregnant. That’s why we nicknamed our first son, Rally Boy.
From my salary, we bought on isntallment a parcel of subdivision land. It was 185 Sq meters. We paid it in 5 years. We thought it will be good if we have our own small house. We can plant some vegetables and care for some chickens or quail. These will help our daily food needs.
For about four years we lived in a small room with students in a rented house.
We kept a part of my salary to buy materials for our house. We bought little by little every pay day, galvanized sheets for roofings. We bought nails that will be needed. We slowly bought some Lawanit for our walls. That was long. It was about 3 years, when we thought we can start building our small house.
Then, my father and my uncle came to Leganes to help us build our house. It was a small house. It was built with coco lumber, bamboo, lawanit walls and galvanized iron for roofing.
We made a small fishpond, about 2 meter long and 1 meter wide. Here we will raise Hito or tilapia. This will help provide us some of our basic needs, while in the ministry. It will be hard, if we buy our every needs from a small salary I received from CPBC. Though, I am Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I received a salary just a few hundred pesos above the minimum wage.
When we transferred our home, Rally Boy was nearly 1½ years old. His younger brother, Rod Chester was five (5) months in her mother’s womb. About 5 months after we lived in our house, I went to Libacao, Aklan for a training of farmers. I stayed there for 2 days. When I left, I bought )4 kilos of rice, some cans of milk, a dozen eggs, some can goods, sugar and bath soaps and laundry soaps.
The night, after I left, thieves, which I think, two people entered our house. They took some of the rice, canned goods and powdered milk. They left Hesther about one-third of it. They got two thirds of our supplies. Otherwise, Hesther and our boy would not have nothing to eat for two days. They took away my Nikon Camera. They took the Enlarger, we used in photography from our Dark Room. Hesther was fast asleep.
When I arrived and learned about the incident, I was deeply worried. Thieves entered our house easily. We sat down on the bed. We prayed together. I thanked the Lord that the thieves did not take all the food. They left something for my wife and child. And God made sure my wife and child were not hurt. They were safe. I thanked God for the protections. I believed it was God who protected my family. For the thieves entered our room, took the camera that was hung at the corner of Hesther’s bed, just above her head.
That afternoon, I went to side of the house, were we planted bananas. The bananas were now growing. Outside the fence, I saw our Photo Enlarger. It was left by the thieves. It was bit bulky. I saw also a dagger, 4 inches long. They left also the dagger. I took the dagger. I carried it often. I asked, some who was the owner. But nobody said, it was his. Or, who the owner was.
Hesther was my partner in all the works I do, in the ministry and in the business we tried to undertake. I feel, pastors should learn an enterprise while in the ministry, if we worked in churches and communities were, most were poor and struggling.
She was my partner when we started our first enterprise – making Salted Peanuts and Banana Cakes. That helped us, in the hardest time of our life – after I resigned from my work at CPBC as Director of the New Frontier Ministries. The situations, I was put, before I resigned was very hard for my mind and heart to take.
Hesther was my partner, when as Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I and our staff were arrested twice. While pregnant, she went and looked for our lawyer, who will work for our release and helped defend our case.
She was my partner, when we started “Hour of Discovery” radio ministry. She was there when we made our maiden broadcast, with fund enough for 5 months air time costs. It was a ministry, the Lord helped and guided until we decided to end, in 2005 after 20 years from 1985. She helped correct my written messages and edit some articles, I wrote.
We worked together when we started Bernal Designs Enterprise, with Jaz Cola distributorship. She was the Cashier & Accountant. We have started business, all from loans and financing, from Jaz Cola Company. Our debt was more than P3 M. We hoped when we paid all our debts and loans, life will a bit easier. But Jaz Cola was sold and we went down fast. I think, one purpose of San Miguel Corporation for buying Jaz Cola, was to slowly let it die. So that, after few years, there will be no more competitions against Cokes.
She joined me, when we organized Alternative Resource Development Center, Inc., started our ministry of printing and publishing. She served as Editor of books we published. We were starting to develop the business and ministry, then Typhoon Frank came, destroying all our equipment for printing, publishing and broadcasting. After Frank flood, we were back to almost zero. But God gave us the strength, courage and ideas to go on. To work and never surrender.
After Typhoon Frank, we lost almost everything. We have nothing to start life again. We prayed. We asked God to help us find a small farm we can lease or rent. He helped and allow us to rent a farm, nearly 3 hectares to rent. We went farming. And together, God taught us how to do natural farming.
We journey together in life, with faith, hopes and dreams.
Hesther helped also in the ministry of Lifegate Church (former Leganes Baptist Church). She’s member of the Board of Deacons. She attended services every Sunday with our sons. I am always out in the churches and communities. Often I am home only on Mondays. I was working in churches, farmers and fishermen’s associations, all over some villages in Aklan and Northern Iloilo.
Hesther helped also in the ministry of Lifegate Church (former Leganes Baptist Church). She’s member of the Board of Deacons. She attended services every Sunday with our sons. I am always out in the churches and communities. Often I am home only on Mondays. I was working in churches, farmers and fishermen’s associations, all over some villages in Aklan and Northern Iloilo.
One day, Hesther was hospitalized. She was operated and her left breast was taken. It was positive for cancer cell. She took a chemotheraphy. We prayed for her recovery. We worked for ways that will strengthen her body, mind and spirit.
She recovered. But five years later, her other breast was operated again. She took radiation for 28 days, daily. Few years after radiations, she was adviced to take chemoteraphy again.
We realized what cancer was. When you are hit with cancer, your time is soon coming to end. That time our children were still small. The youngest, Dodo was only 7 years old. We prayed. Our prayer was simple and strong. We asked God for a little more time of her life. We asked it as a Special Gift from the Lord. Some more years of her life. It would be very hard if she was taken when our youngest son was still small.
God answered our prayers. He took Hesther in May 4, 2010, 17 years after her first cancer operations that was malignant. During the 17 years of her sickness, she took two chemotherapy treatments. She took also radiation treatments. about 3 hours every day, with faith and patience.
We combined modern medicine with traditional treatments. She need to have strong mind, body and spirit. Many of her friends, also cancer patients and members of their Cancer’s Club, each passed away, the last 17 years. She remained steadfast, strong and full of life both in the community, in church and in our little enterprise.
She eat more vegetables and fish and less meat. She tried to get more time for exercise. We go together to the beach walking at the salty waters or swimming in the beach. We have little money. Her two Chemotherapy were assisted by the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes. Her radiation treatment for 28 days, daily, She was treated well. We gave only donations of a few thousands pesos.
My friends, Ake Svalfors and Olof Lindstroms, also sent some amount for her medications. Some of her classmaters, send her amount for hospitalization. But cancer was a battle, we seldom won.
In mid-2009, I was member of the Personnel Committee, under President Arsenio Llamas and Rev. Job Santiago. I was presiding the CPBC Personnel Committee meeting. The Committee was deliberating on Rev. Judson Herbilla, Sr., application for General Secretary. We have already finished deliberations on Rev. Edwin Lariza and Rev. Noel Luces.
That morning we were finalizing interview with Rev. Judson Herbilla. The results will be presented to the Board of Trustees the next few weeks. I felt a kind of pain in my breast. I went to the CR.
When I came back, Rev. Joel Valdez came to me. He asked what I felt. He sensed something wrong with me. Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. and Mrs. Feraz Legita came to me. They asked me to go to Iloilo Mission Hospital. I told them I will just go home. I will take a rest home. But they did not permit me. They brought me to Iloilo Mission Hospital.
I was admitted at the Emergency Room. I was taken cared of by the nurses. Then, about 30 minutes, I felt so sleepy. I slept. It was a long sleep. I was told by my sons, I lost consciousness 30 minutes later. I regained consciousness 37 hours after. I remembered, telling Mrs. Legita to admit me at IMH’s Men’s Ward. I knew private rooms were expensive.
But when my sisters, Elvira and Myrna came, they transferred me to a private room. There, they feel, they can help care and watch me more easier.
When I wook up, I saw my 2 sons. But I cannot remember their names. There was also Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. But I cannot remember her name. I knew her only as Manay. It took 2 days, for me to remember my son’s names.
The two doctors, one taking charge of my body. The other was taking charge of my mind. They told me later, they were worried. I have gone unconscious before one of them arrived.
They had no knowledge and background of my sickness. They were just called when I was brought at the Emergency Room. I remembered Miss Deli Baclagon, said she will call him. I have gone to a hospital, only once, since I was born. And that was for stomach trouble for a day. Looking at me, the doctor thought I got a stroke. Perhaps, a mild one.
Carefully, my doctors gave me medicine. Both for my stroke and for my mind. I recovered fast. The doctors told me my recovery was fast. Really fast. The recovery of my body from stroke. And the recovery of my mind and memory.
Hesther was really sick that week. She cannot visit me at the hospital. She has to stay at home, with our son Noynoy and Dodo. While my two sons, Rally and Toses, were in the hospital with me. She was told, I had a stroke. She told me she prayed. She really prayed very hard. She asked God to bring me back my health. I am needed by our children.
She told the Lord. “Lord, what will happen to our family, if I die? I am weak with cancer. And Rudy will be helpless suffering from stroke? Please, Lord, give Rudy back his health. Please help him recover fast.” Slowly, I recovered. I was released from the hospital 5 days later. Though my doctors told me to visit them in 2 weeks time.
Every time Hesther was hospitalized her younger sister, Mrs. Gilda Dequena always came. She stayed until Hesther can go home. Also her other sister, Mrs. Belen Puerto always came when she was in the hospital. They were here during her wake.
Her elder sister, Mrs. Rosea Saplada came during her burial and assisted us. Many of her cousins and relatives from Maao Central and Bago City came. And her youngest sister, Rachel Abayon came and joined, three days before her burial.
At her funeral, at Lifegate Church, her sisters, brothers and cousins from Negros came. My brothers and sisters from Carles also came to be with her. Our cousins and friends in Carles and Iloilo City who were Seventh Day Adventists, visited her. My younger brother, Restituto Jr., the next to me, joined me the day after Hesther died. He stayed with us, until she was buried. He did lots of work in helping me at home, while on Hesther’s wake.
Our friends in the Baptist Convention and the Ecumenical ministries, visited Hesther at her wake. Some came during her funeral.
Some officers and members of Gabriela Women’s Party came to her wake. The members of West Visayas Ecumenical Council, joined her wake. Our neighbors in Leganes were there. Her classmates and friends from abroad, wrote letters of condolences. She was part of their lives.
Rev. Albert Valdez delivered the Necrological Message. Lifegate Church Choir sang. I gave a short message, thanking all her friends and relatives. Our 4 sons were there, at the front seats. They looked at their mother’s coffin with courageous hearts. Their eyes were red and moist. But they did not cry. Rev. Joel Valdez committed her to the Lord.
It was fitting remembrance for the woman, who have been part of my life and of our four children.
Before she died, she talked to our children. To each of them, she had given her instructions. What they will do when she’s gone. The dress she will use on her burial day was prepared. She entrusted it to Dodo, our youngest son. It was not new. But she tried to make it beautiful. She told my son, that dress will be used on her burial. But if, I will asked that another dress will be used, they will follow my request.
My sister, Zenaida, a Pastor and dressmaker made a new dress for Hesther. I requested it to be used. And the dress she prepared was put on her breast in the coffin. The Special Music that were sang, she selected and requested the church music director to do it. She never told me of the preparations she made when she died and buried.
My sister Myrna, facilitated things, from bringing her body from the hospital to the funeral home. I cannot do it. She was the one who did what was needed to be done. I only follow her. It was very hard, when your wife is dead, I seem not to know what to do. But God just gave me strength.
Mrs. Myrna Ilacio, came to our home carrying several curtains, to be used in our home to make it a bit more presenatable during her wake. She also brought several cans of coffee and bread for the wake.
My sons were near her when the last songs, message and prayers were made before she was interned at her grave at the Philippine American Cemetery Association, where we were members. We prepared two small space for our burial, one for me and one for her. A beautiful place, a clean place, a place where we often come for meditation and prayers. The officers of our association were there. They came and visited us at home in Leganes during her wake.
I asked Hesther, in her wake, to be with me always. To help me, as I guide our four children in their early lives. I asked her to show me, what I will do, thru some dreams and visions. But Hesther never gave a dream. She did not talk to me in dreams. She did not show me a vision. She just went home softly and joined the Lord.
But her spirit and thoughts were always with us. I felt it in many ways. She guided us, both me and our children –Rally, Noynoy, Toses and Dodo. She’s spoke to us, to remind us of what we need to do. She did it through reminders… how she did and what she said, before. Her presence was always with us!
She died May 4, 2010. She was buried May 11. Last May 10, 2010, the day before, she will be buried, I opened her coffin while I was alone, early one morning. I looked at her face for a long time. That was the last time, I will ever see her face. It was fresh. I bowed down on the coffin. I kissed her lips. I kissed it softly and tenderly.
I prayed and bid her goodbye. We knew the Lord’s promise. One day, we will meet and be together again. These gave me the strength to move on.
