My Experiments on My Life After a Bout with Stroke. I Worked to Recover My Health, Strength, Mind & Enriched my Memory w/ Natural Foods, Herbs, Exercises, Songs of Faith & Love Songs

Chapter 61

Experiments On My Life: After a Bout w/ Strokes, I Work to Recover My Health, Strength, Mind & Enriched My Memory w/ Natural Foods, Herbs, Exercises, Songs of Faith & Love Songs...

I was hit twice with stroke in 2009 and 2011. My mind and memory was weakened, I worked a bit hard to recover my health, strength, memory and my mental focus and concentrations.

I have not preached in the church since 2009 until 2015. I have not made any lectures. My mind often went blank. I lost much of my confidence. I continued to read and write. Writing was hard. Often I cannot remember words I need to say.

I have a hard time remembering things and events. I thought that was the end. I could not preach. I could not lecture. I could not write anymore. But, I could pray. I still could reached out to people and share. I reached out to farmers, fishermen and gardeners.

When I tried to preach, I wrote my message. But, as my eyesight was blurred with cataract. preaching with a manuscript was now quite impossible.

Before, when I spoke on the radio, I wrote my messages. Every weres were selected. I need to put much in a ten minute message over a 15 radio time, with a song and introductions of the message. I prefer to preach or to make lecture with just an outline. But with limited radio time, the message has to be direct and clear. In my situations, I find it hard to preach or lecture. I decided not to accept any invitation the last 5 years. Until now, no invitations came anymore from the Baptist churches.

I received invitations from the communities, the farmers and fishermens association and the ecumenical groups. I gave lectures on how to find technical and finanacial resources, with Feasibility Studies and Project Proposals. Through this skills and knowledge pastors, leaders of organizations and NGO’s can access resources in the community, the government, national and international funding partners.

To strengthen my body, I went on with soft calisthenics and walking. Not even breast walking. I only walked slowly about one fourth kilometer, two days a week. Then I pull some grasses in the garden under the soft heat of the morning sun. I do some kind of manual labor, cutting fire woods, pulverizing soils with a speeding fork. I continue working, until I get little perspirations on my forehead and neck. Then, I stop and get some rest.

I eat rice, if possible, not sprayed with pesticides. One (1) cup per meal. I eat vegetables that we planted. We avoid vegetables from the market, as most vegetables are heavily sprayed with pesticides. I eat fish, small fish caught from the sea. We minimized eating fish cultured on fish ponds. Fish feeds were heavy with growth hormones. I eat pork, small part, without the fat. We care some native chickens, feed with ordinary feeds –rice bran, corn bran, corn meal, grasses and fermented feeds. I have a few chicken that lay eggs. I use native chicken eggs for my breakfast.

Now, big broiler farmers, we heard were raising chicken at 28 days only. Before, broilers were raised 45 days. We learned, big amounts of growth hormones and anti-biotic on broiler chickens.

While, it cannot be avoided, we tried to minimize eating broiler chicken at home.

I hope it will improve my health and strength, expecially, now at 77 years.

To help lessen my high Blood Pressures, I maintained the medicines given me by my physicians, some years ago. I took daily 1 tablet of Amlodipene 10 ml. One tablet of Chlopidogrel 75 ml. And 1 tablet of Atorbastasin 20 ml.

I also drink a Teaspoon of Apple Cider Vinegar/Tuba Vinegar together ½ Teaspoon of Baking Soda in a glass of water every three days.

I add some herbs, to help lessen my blood pressure. Every two days, I got 2 cubs of garlic and one small union bulb. I cut it into small pieces and mix with honey. I eat this mixture at 6:00 AM, when my stomach was still empty. Thirty minutes later I drink 1 cup of warm water mixed with 1 tablespoon of ground ginger and ½ table spoon of grounded Tomeric roots with a little brown sugar. I found it helpful.

To fight against diabetes, as I am at the border lines, 10 years ago, I used a herb called Acitaba. I often get 3 -5 leaves, wash it and eat it every day. I just try hard to remember to get 3 -5 leaves every day. Make sure, I eat 3 to 4 leaves of Acetaba daily. It helps me with diabetes on the border lines.

To strengthen my mind and memory, I try to read every day. I try to commit a verse to memory. But I found it’s now harder. I also read a verse or two, and reflect on its message and meaning. It strengthen my faith. It also strengthen my memory.

I eat 3-5 flowers of Blue Tarnate. I just picked the flowers and eat immediately. Then drank a glass of water. Sometimes, I also gather a hundred flowers, blend it with honey and kept it in a refs and eat some flowers.

I also gather some 15 leaves of Mint, which I put in hot water. I allow this to cool a little, then drink. Mint is good too for the health. Sometimes, I put the Mint with 4 leaves of Gutocola and few cuts of Tanglad leaves . It is a refreshing drink which I often do, after breakfast.

I discovered GEMS Mineral Juice. I find it refreshing. I think it helped also strengthen my mind, my memory and concentration.

I do little workouts to strengthen my body. Every two days, I walked about half kilometer both ways to give strength to my feet and ankle. I do a little calisthenics every other day.Some days, I go some little swimming. Cutting some firewood and gardening is good for me.

About 2 years ago, I started writing. I wrote slowly. It took me, three days to one week to write and draft a chapter of 4 pages. I persisted writing. Now, I found it more easier to write. I am writing an Auto-Biography, a religious and political history. I planned to have it printed and published. I begun to think, God is opening a new ministry -writing. It is a possible new ministry. Writing stories that can touched the lives and taught some principles on leadership to the younger generation.

To strengthen my concentration, I often get a few leaves of Mint from our garden. With a glass of hot water, I put about 10 leaves of mint, put honey or brown sugar. I drunk it often, when I am working, reading or writing. It’s good, I was told, it's good for my vile. It cleanses will my blood and body.

To fight stress and relax my mind, I tried to sing inside my room. I do not have a good singing voice. But singing helped relaxed some of my tensions and nerves. I listened to songs that were composed and written during our time –the 60’s, 50’s and 70’s. I listened to these songs again. Now, I tried to sing every day, often alone. I think, it is good for the mind and heart.

To open my day, I sang Christian hymns and spiritual songs. I followed it with some love songs of our year. These were songs that were soft with light melodies that often touched the hearts. I love to sing “Morning Has Broken.”, “Amazing Grace”, “How Great Thou Art” , “It Is No Secret”, “Because He Lives”, “Lily of the Valley”, “One Day at a Time”, “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow”. The songs prepare me for the day. It give me strength and a little power.

To relax my mind and heart, and lessen my blood pressures, I go back to the songs of yesteryears. –song from our past. “This is My Song”, I first heard from Petula Clark. “Memory” from Barbra Streisand. “They Way We Were” from Doris Day. “Those Were the Days” from Mary Hopkin, “Yesterday, When I Was Young” from Andy Williams. “Yesterday Once More” from Karen Carpenter;

Some other songs, I love singing, “I Have a Dream” from Abba, “Warm” from Johnny Mathis. “Rhythms In the Rains” from Jason Donovan, “Top of the World” from Garfungel. “Strangers in the Night” & The Last Waltz” from Engelbert Humperdinck. “A Tear Fell” from Teresa Brewer; “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” from Madonna. “ A Time For Us” from Johnny Mathis and “More” from Doris Day.

I often closed my day, with “Somewhere Over the Raindbow” from Judy Garland or “Edelweiss” from Julie Andrews. These were songs of the past. These songs will help refreshed my memories, touched and jolt minds a little, to try to remember and dream for bigger things once more.

As I close Chapter 61 of our book “MEMORIES: Faith & People’s Struggle for Freedom”, I would like to asked you to join me in singing this beautiful song ...

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day I don’t borrow from the sunshine, For it’s skies may turn to gray

I don’t worry o’er the future, For I know what Jesus said And today I’ll walk beside Him, For He knew what lies ahead

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.

Ev’ry step is getting brighter, As the golden stairs I climb Ev’ry burden’s getting lighter, Ev’ry cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining, There’s no tear to dim the eye At the ending of the rainbow, Where the mountains touch the sky

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.

Songwriter : Ira Stanphill By Capitol Christian Music Grou

Last November 23, 2017, I celebrated my 77th birthyday. It was a simple celebration with my children. We have dinner together. It was a time to look also to the future. What is the future for me? I tried to look into the future, amidst the situations in our country and the uncertainties in the world. Recent concerns, was North Korea’s nurclear weapons, they said, it could reached the United States and therefore, most of the countries in Asia.

I am deeply concerned with President Rodrigo Duterte’s decision declaring the New People’s Army (NPA), a terrorists organization. This will put them on the level of the ISIS and the terrorists group that tried to control Marawi City. With this declaration, the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP), will put their best efforts to destroy and eliminate the NPA and the Communist Party of the Philippines.

Prof. Jose Ma. Sison, the teacher of President Duterte at Lyceum of the Philippines in the 60’s , said, the NPA will intensify their military activities, in response to the President’s declaration. There will be another total war between the NPA and the AFP in the coming days and years.

After living 77 years, and seeing the poor Filipinos still suffering the hardest kind of life, in the slums of the cities, others living landless and hungry in the countrysides, where vast tracts of lands were owned by rich and the elites. The super rich and the very rich wallow in their wealth and power, and the poor struggling in poverty and want, I saw the future hard for most of us.

The AFP may succeed in killing all the NPA’s and CPP’s today? But the war in the country will still continue. As long as extreme poverty is suffered by most Filipinos, in the slums and the countrysides, young Filipinos will continue to stand and fight the elitist and oligarchs, even if they are protected by the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

The war in our country will go on, after President Duterte, myself and other older Filipinos have been buried, unless genuine land reforms were effected and bureaucratic capitalism were destroyed in our country.

What will I do the next few years? I may live in 2 years more. Or perhaps, 3 or five more years. What will I do?

If God give me more time to live? After we published this Auto-Biography, “MEMORIES: Faith & People’s Struggle for Freedom”, released January 18, 2018. This is our PART 11.

Then, we will work for the publication of PART 1- “MEMORIES: Early Life, Studies, Training & Involvements in the Works for Change ,” which we target to print November 2018. I have written the volume already. It needs re-writing, editing and proofreading.

The PART 111, “REMEMBRANCHES: Experiments, Practices on Natural Farming & the Present Battles Against Drugs, Corruptions & the Dream for Federai Democracy”.

Hopefully, we will published this February 2019.

We also plan to re-print and publish the 9 small books (95 to 120 pages) we have printed in 1999 – 2008, with Rev. Olof Lindstrom which were now out- of- circulations. The 8 books of the past, includes “FROM LUZON, VISAYAS & SWEDEN, too”. FROM MY PULPIT Nov. 2003, FROM MY PULPIT Part TWO, Nov. 2004; FROM MY PLATFORM & PULPIT, November 2005; PERSONALITIES IN OUR TIME -10 PORTRAITS, May 2006; PERSONALITIES IN OUR TIME: From Asia and Europe, April 2007 and PERSONALITES: From the Philippines, Chile & UK”, May 2008. We have now started to re-encode the books. We will re-print it along the way.

A small group of writers, have now started to think of writing short biographies of pastors, church and community leaders in the ecumenical communities, so their lives, struggles and experiences could help and guide the younger generations. I thanked our friends, who will help us publish these books.

Thank you for being part of this book -MEMORIES; Life & People's Struggle for Freedom". God bless us all!

My Experiments on My Life After a Bout with Stroke. I Worked to Recover My Health, Strength, Mind & Enriched my Memory w/ Natural Foods, Herbs, Exercises, Songs of Faith & Love Songs

I was hit twice with stroke in 2009 and 2011. My mind and memory was weakened, I worked a bit hard to recover my health, strength, memory and my mental focus and concentrations.

I have not preached in the church since 2009 until 2015. I have not made any lectures. My mind often went blank. I lost much of my confidence. I continued to read and write. Writing was hard. Often I cannot remember words I need to say.

I have a hard time remembering things and events. I thought that was the end. I could not preach. I could not lecture. I could not write anymore. But, I could pray. I still could reached out to people and share. I reached out to farmers, fishermen and gardeners.

When I tried to preach, I wrote my message. But, as my eyesight was blurred with cataract. preaching with a manuscript was now quite impossible.

Before, when I spoke on the radio, I wrote my messages. Every weres were selected. I need to put much in a ten minute message over a 15 radio time, with a song and introductions of the message. I prefer to preach or to make lecture with just an outline. But with limited radio time, the message has to be direct and clear. In my situations, I find it hard to preach or lecture. I decided not to accept any invitation the last 5 years. Until now, no invitations came anymore from the Baptist churches.

I received invitations from the communities, the farmers and fishermens association and the ecumenical groups. I gave lectures on how to find technical and finanacial resources, with Feasibility Studies and Project Proposals. Through this skills and knowledge pastors, leaders of organizations and NGO’s can access resources in the community, the government, national and international funding partners.

To strengthen my body, I went on with soft calisthenics and walking. Not even breast walking. I only walked slowly about one fourth kilometer, two days a week. Then I pull some grasses in the garden under the soft heat of the morning sun. I do some kind of manual labor, cutting fire woods, pulverizing soils with a speeding fork. I continue working, until I get little perspirations on my forehead and neck. Then, I stop and get some rest.

I eat rice, if possible, not sprayed with pesticides. One (1) cup per meal. I eat vegetables that we planted. We avoid vegetables from the market, as most vegetables are heavily sprayed with pesticides. I eat fish, small fish caught from the sea. We minimized eating fish cultured on fish ponds. Fish feeds were heavy with growth hormones. I eat pork, small part, without the fat. We care some native chickens, feed with ordinary feeds –rice bran, corn bran, corn meal, grasses and fermented feeds. I have a few chicken that lay eggs. I use native chicken eggs for my breakfast.

Now, big broiler farmers, we heard were raising chicken at 28 days only. Before, broilers were raised 45 days. We learned, big amounts of growth hormones and anti-biotic on broiler chickens.

While, it cannot be avoided, we tried to minimize eating broiler chicken at home.

I hope it will improve my health and strength, expecially, now at 77 years.

To help lessen my high Blood Pressures, I maintained the medicines given me by my physicians, some years ago. I took daily 1 tablet of Amlodipene 10 ml. One tablet of Chlopidogrel 75 ml. And 1 tablet of Atorbastasin 20 ml.

I also drink a Teaspoon of Apple Cider Vinegar/Tuba Vinegar together ½ Teaspoon of Baking Soda in a glass of water every three days.

I add some herbs, to help lessen my blood pressure. Every two days, I got 2 cubs of garlic and one small union bulb. I cut it into small pieces and mix with honey. I eat this mixture at 6:00 AM, when my stomach was still empty. Thirty minutes later I drink 1 cup of warm water mixed with 1 tablespoon of ground ginger and ½ table spoon of grounded Tomeric roots with a little brown sugar. I found it helpful.

To fight against diabetes, as I am at the border lines, 10 years ago, I used a herb called Acitaba. I often get 3 -5 leaves, wash it and eat it every day. I just try hard to remember to get 3 -5 leaves every day. Make sure, I eat 3 to 4 leaves of Acetaba daily. It helps me with diabetes on the border lines.

To strengthen my mind and memory, I try to read every day. I try to commit a verse to memory. But I found it’s now harder. I also read a verse or two, and reflect on its message and meaning. It strengthen my faith. It also strengthen my memory.

I eat 3-5 flowers of Blue Tarnate. I just picked the flowers and eat immediately. Then drank a glass of water. Sometimes, I also gather a hundred flowers, blend it with honey and kept it in a refs and eat some flowers.

I also gather some 15 leaves of Mint, which I put in hot water. I allow this to cool a little, then drink. Mint is good too for the health. Sometimes, I put the Mint with 4 leaves of Gutocola and few cuts of Tanglad leaves. It is a refreshing drink which I often do, after breakfast.

I discovered GEMS Mineral Juice. I find it refreshing. I think it helped also strengthen my mind, my memory and concentration.

I do little workouts to strengthen my body. Every two days, I walked about half kilometer both ways to give strength to my feet and ankle. I do a little calisthenics every other day. Some days, I go some little swimming. Cutting some firewood and gardening is good for me.

About 2 years ago, I started writing. I wrote slowly. It took me, three days to one week to write and draft a chapter of 4 pages. I persisted writing. Now, I found it more easier to write. I am writing an Auto-Biography, a religious and political history. I planned to have it printed and published. I begun to think, God is opening a new ministry -writing. It is a possible new ministry. Writing stories that can touched the lives and taught some principles on leadership to the younger generation.

To strengthen my concentration, I often get a few leaves of Mint from our garden. With a glass of hot water, I put about 10 leaves of mint, put honey or brown sugar. I drunk it often, when I am working, reading or writing. It’s good, I was told, it's good for my vile. It cleanses will my blood and body.

To fight stress and relax my mind, I tried to sing inside my room. I do not have a good singing voice. But singing helped relaxed some of my tensions and nerves. I listened to songs that were composed and written during our time –the 60’s, 50’s and 70’s. I listened to these songs again. Now, I tried to sing every day, often alone. I think, it is good for the mind and heart.

To open my day, I sang Christian hymns and spiritual songs. I followed it with some love songs of our year. These were songs that were soft with light melodies that often touched the hearts. I love to sing “Morning Has Broken.”, “Amazing Grace”, “How Great Thou Art”, “It Is No Secret”, “Because He Lives”, “Lily of the Valley”, “One Day at a Time”, “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow”. The songs prepare me for the day. It give me strength and a little power.

To relax my mind and heart, and lessen my blood pressures, I go back to the songs of yesteryears. –song from our past. “This is My Song”, I first heard from Petula Clark. “Memory” from Barbra Streisand. “They Way We Were” from Doris Day. “Those Were the Days” from Mary Hopkin, “Yesterday, When I Was Young” from Andy Williams. “Yesterday Once More” from Karen Carpenter;

Some other songs, I love singing, “I Have a Dream” from Abba, “Warm” from Johnny Mathis. “Rhythms In the Rains” from Jason Donovan, “Top of the World” from Garfungel. “Strangers in the Night” & The Last Waltz” from Engelbert Humperdinck. “A Tear Fell” from Teresa Brewer; “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” from Madonna. “A Time For Us” from Johnny Mathis and “More” from Doris Day.

I often closed my day, with “Somewhere Over the Raindbow” from Judy Garland or “Edelweiss” from Julie Andrews. These were songs of the past. These songs will help refreshed my memories, touched and jolt minds a little, to try to remember and dream for bigger things once more.

As I close Chapter 61 of our book “MEMORIES: Faith & People’s Struggle for Freedom”, I would like to asked you to join me in singing this beautiful song...

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day I don’t borrow from the sunshine, For it’s skies may turn to gray

I don’t worry o’er the future, For I know what Jesus said And today I’ll walk beside Him, For He knew what lies ahead

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.

Ev’ry step is getting brighter, As the golden stairs I climb Ev’ry burden’s getting lighter, Ev’ry cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining, There’s no tear to dim the eye At the ending of the rainbow, Where the mountains touch the sky

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.

Songwriter: Ira Stanphill By Capitol Christian Music Grou

Last November 23, 2017, I celebrated my 77th birthyday. It was a simple celebration with my children. We have dinner together. It was a time to look also to the future. What is the future for me? I tried to look into the future, amidst the situations in our country and the uncertainties in the world. Recent concerns, was North Korea’s nurclear weapons, they said, it could reached the United States and therefore, most of the countries in Asia.

I am deeply concerned with President Rodrigo Duterte’s decision declaring the New People’s Army (NPA), a terrorists organization. This will put them on the level of the ISIS and the terrorists group that tried to control Marawi City. With this declaration, the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP), will put their best efforts to destroy and eliminate the NPA and the Communist Party of the Philippines.

Prof. Jose Ma. Sison, the teacher of President Duterte at Lyceum of the Philippines in the 60’s, said, the NPA will intensify their military activities, in response to the President’s declaration. There will be another total war between the NPA and the AFP in the coming days and years.

After living 77 years, and seeing the poor Filipinos still suffering the hardest kind of life, in the slums of the cities, others living landless and hungry in the countrysides, where vast tracts of lands were owned by rich and the elites. The super rich and the very rich wallow in their wealth and power, and the poor struggling in poverty and want, I saw the future hard for most of us.

The AFP may succeed in killing all the NPA’s and CPP’s today? But the war in the country will still continue. As long as extreme poverty is suffered by most Filipinos, in the slums and the countrysides, young Filipinos will continue to stand and fight the elitist and oligarchs, even if they are protected by the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

The war in our country will go on, after President Duterte, myself and other older Filipinos have been buried, unless genuine land reforms were effected and bureaucratic capitalism were destroyed in our country.

What will I do the next few years? I may live in 2 years more. Or perhaps, 3 or five more years. What will I do?

If God give me more time to live? After we published this Auto-Biography, “MEMORIES: Faith & People’s Struggle for Freedom”, released January 18, 2018. This is our PART 11.

Then, we will work for the publication of PART 1- “MEMORIES: Early Life, Studies, Training & Involvements in the Works for Change,” which we target to print November 2018. I have written the volume already. It needs re-writing, editing and proofreading.

The PART 111, “REMEMBRANCHES: Experiments, Practices on Natural Farming & the Present Battles Against Drugs, Corruptions & the Dream for Federai Democracy”.

Hopefully, we will published this February 2019.

We also plan to re-print and publish the 9 small books (95 to 120 pages) we have printed in 1999 – 2008, with Rev. Olof Lindstrom which were now out- of- circulations. The 8 books of the past, includes “FROM LUZON, VISAYAS & SWEDEN, too”. FROM MY PULPIT Nov. 2003, FROM MY PULPIT Part TWO, Nov. 2004; FROM MY PLATFORM & PULPIT, November 2005; PERSONALITIES IN OUR TIME -10 PORTRAITS, May 2006; PERSONALITIES IN OUR TIME: From Asia and Europe, April 2007 and PERSONALITES: From the Philippines, Chile & UK”, May 2008. We have now started to re-encode the books. We will re-print it along the way.

A small group of writers, have now started to think of writing short biographies of pastors, church and community leaders in the ecumenical communities, so their lives, struggles and experiences could help and guide the younger generations. I thanked our friends, who will help us publish these books.

Thank you for being part of this book -MEMORIES; Life & People's Struggle for Freedom". God bless us all!

My Experiments on My Life After a Bout with Stroke. I Worked to Recover My Health, Strength, Mind & Enriched my Memory w/ Natural Foods, Herbs, Exercises, Songs of Faith & Love Songs

Chapter 61

Experiments On My Life: After a Bout w/ Strokes, I Work to Recover My Health, Strength, Mind & Enriched My Memory w/ Natural Foods, Herbs, Exercises, Songs of Faith & Love Songs...

I was hit twice with stroke in 2009 and 2011. My mind and memory was weakened, I worked a bit hard to recover my health, strength, memory and my mental focus and concentrations.

I have not preached in the church since 2009 until 2015. I have not made any lectures. My mind often went blank. I lost much of my confidence. I continued to read and write. Writing was hard. Often I cannot remember words I need to say.

I have a hard time remembering things and events. I thought that was the end. I could not preach. I could not lecture. I could not write anymore. But, I could pray. I still could reached out to people and share. I reached out to farmers, fishermen and gardeners.

When I tried to preach, I wrote my message. But, as my eyesight was blurred with cataract. preaching with a manuscript was now quite impossible.

Before, when I spoke on the radio, I wrote my messages. Every weres were selected. I need to put much in a ten minute message over a 15 radio time, with a song and introductions of the message. I prefer to preach or to make lecture with just an outline. But with limited radio time, the message has to be direct and clear. In my situations, I find it hard to preach or lecture. I decided not to accept any invitation the last 5 years. Until now, no invitations came anymore from the Baptist churches.

I received invitations from the communities, the farmers and fishermens association and the ecumenical groups. I gave lectures on how to find technical and finanacial resources, with Feasibility Studies and Project Proposals. Through this skills and knowledge pastors, leaders of organizations and NGO’s can access resources in the community, the government, national and international funding partners.

To strengthen my body, I went on with soft calisthenics and walking. Not even breast walking. I only walked slowly about one fourth kilometer, two days a week. Then I pull some grasses in the garden under the soft heat of the morning sun. I do some kind of manual labor, cutting fire woods, pulverizing soils with a speeding fork. I continue working, until I get little perspirations on my forehead and neck. Then, I stop and get some rest.

I eat rice, if possible, not sprayed with pesticides. One (1) cup per meal. I eat vegetables that we planted. We avoid vegetables from the market, as most vegetables are heavily sprayed with pesticides. I eat fish, small fish caught from the sea. We minimized eating fish cultured on fish ponds. Fish feeds were heavy with growth hormones. I eat pork, small part, without the fat. We care some native chickens, feed with ordinary feeds –rice bran, corn bran, corn meal, grasses and fermented feeds. I have a few chicken that lay eggs. I use native chicken eggs for my breakfast.

Now, big broiler farmers, we heard were raising chicken at 28 days only. Before, broilers were raised 45 days. We learned, big amounts of growth hormones and anti-biotic on broiler chickens.

While, it cannot be avoided, we tried to minimize eating broiler chicken at home.

I hope it will improve my health and strength, expecially, now at 77 years.

To help lessen my high Blood Pressures, I maintained the medicines given me by my physicians, some years ago. I took daily 1 tablet of Amlodipene 10 ml. One tablet of Chlopidogrel 75 ml. And 1 tablet of Atorbastasin 20 ml.

I also drink a Teaspoon of Apple Cider Vinegar/Tuba Vinegar together ½ Teaspoon of Baking Soda in a glass of water every three days.

I add some herbs, to help lessen my blood pressure. Every two days, I got 2 cubs of garlic and one small union bulb. I cut it into small pieces and mix with honey. I eat this mixture at 6:00 AM, when my stomach was still empty. Thirty minutes later I drink 1 cup of warm water mixed with 1 tablespoon of ground ginger and ½ table spoon of grounded Tomeric roots with a little brown sugar. I found it helpful.

To fight against diabetes, as I am at the border lines, 10 years ago, I used a herb called Acitaba. I often get 3 -5 leaves, wash it and eat it every day. I just try hard to remember to get 3 -5 leaves every day. Make sure, I eat 3 to 4 leaves of Acetaba daily. It helps me with diabetes on the border lines.

To strengthen my mind and memory, I try to read every day. I try to commit a verse to memory. But I found it’s now harder. I also read a verse or two, and reflect on its message and meaning. It strengthen my faith. It also strengthen my memory.

I eat 3-5 flowers of Blue Tarnate. I just picked the flowers and eat immediately. Then drank a glass of water. Sometimes, I also gather a hundred flowers, blend it with honey and kept it in a refs and eat some flowers.

I also gather some 15 leaves of Mint, which I put in hot water. I allow this to cool a little, then drink. Mint is good too for the health. Sometimes, I put the Mint with 4 leaves of Gutocola and few cuts of Tanglad leaves . It is a refreshing drink which I often do, after breakfast.

I discovered GEMS Mineral Juice. I find it refreshing. I think it helped also strengthen my mind, my memory and concentration.

I do little workouts to strengthen my body. Every two days, I walked about half kilometer both ways to give strength to my feet and ankle. I do a little calisthenics every other day.Some days, I go some little swimming. Cutting some firewood and gardening is good for me.

About 2 years ago, I started writing. I wrote slowly. It took me, three days to one week to write and draft a chapter of 4 pages. I persisted writing. Now, I found it more easier to write. I am writing an Auto-Biography, a religious and political history. I planned to have it printed and published. I begun to think, God is opening a new ministry -writing. It is a possible new ministry. Writing stories that can touched the lives and taught some principles on leadership to the younger generation.

To strengthen my concentration, I often get a few leaves of Mint from our garden. With a glass of hot water, I put about 10 leaves of mint, put honey or brown sugar. I drunk it often, when I am working, reading or writing. It’s good, I was told, it's good for my vile. It cleanses will my blood and body.

To fight stress and relax my mind, I tried to sing inside my room. I do not have a good singing voice. But singing helped relaxed some of my tensions and nerves. I listened to songs that were composed and written during our time –the 60’s, 50’s and 70’s. I listened to these songs again. Now, I tried to sing every day, often alone. I think, it is good for the mind and heart.

To open my day, I sang Christian hymns and spiritual songs. I followed it with some love songs of our year. These were songs that were soft with light melodies that often touched the hearts. I love to sing “Morning Has Broken.”, “Amazing Grace”, “How Great Thou Art” , “It Is No Secret”, “Because He Lives”, “Lily of the Valley”, “One Day at a Time”, “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow”. The songs prepare me for the the day. It give me strength and a little power.

To relax my mind and heart, and lessen my blood pressures, I go back to the songs of yesteryears. –song from our past. “This is My Song”, I first heard from Petula Clark. “Memory” from Barbra Streisand. “They Way We Were” from Doris Day. “Those Were the Days” from Mary Hopkin, “Yesterday, When I Was Young” from Andy Williams. “Yesterday Once More” from Karen Carpenter;

Some other songs, I love singing, “I Have a Dream” from Abba, “Warm” from Johnny Mathis. “Rhythms In the Rains” from Jason Donovan, “Top of the World” from Garfungel. “Strangers in the Night” & The Last Waltz” from Engelbert Humperdinck. “A Tear Fell” from Teresa Brewer; “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” from Madonna. “ A Time For Us” from Johnny Mathis and “More” from Doris Day.

I often closed my day, with “Somewhere Over the Raindbow” from Judy Garland or “Edelweiss” from Julie Andrews.
These were songs of the past. These songs will help refreshed my memories, touched and jolt minds a little, to try to remember and dream for bigger things once more.

As I close Chapter 61 of our book “MEMORIES: Faith & People’s Struggle for Freedom”, I would like to asked you to join me in singing this beautiful song ...

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day
I don’t borrow from the sunshine, For it’s skies may turn to gray

I don’t worry o’er the future, For I know what Jesus said
And today I’ll walk beside Him, For He knew what lies ahead

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.

Ev’ry step is getting brighter, As the golden stairs I climb
Ev’ry burden’s getting lighter, Ev’ry cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining, There’s no tear to dim the eye
At at the ending of the rainbow, Where the mountains touch the sky

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow, And I know who holds my hand.

Songwriter : Ira Stanphill
By Capitol Christian Music Grou

Last November 23, 2017, I celebrated my 77th birthyday. It was a simple celebration with my children. We have dinner together. It was a time to look also to the future. What is the future for me? I tried to look into the future, amidst the situations in our country and the uncertainties in the world. Recent concerns, was North Korea’s nurclear weapons, they said, it could reached the United States and therefore, most of the countries in Asia.

I am deeply concerned with President Rodrigo Duterte’s decision declaring the New People’s Army (NPA), a terrorists organization. This will put them on the level of the ISIS and the terrorists group that tried to control Marawi City. With this declaration, the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP), will put their best efforts to destroy and eliminate the NPA and the Communist Party of the Philippines.

Prof. Jose Ma. Sison, the teacher of President Duterte at Lyceum of the Philippines in the 60’s , said, the NPA will intensify their military activities, in response to the President’s declaration. There will be another total war between the NPA and the AFP in the coming days and years.

After living 77 years, and seeing the poor Filipinos still suffering the hardest kind of life, in the slums of the cities, others living landless and hungry in the countrysides, where vast tracts of lands were owned by rich and the elites. The super rich and the very rich wallow in their wealth and power, and the poor struggling in poverty and want, I saw the future hard for most of us.

The AFP may succeed in killing all the NPA’s and CPP’s today? But the war in the country will still continue. As long as extreme poverty is suffered by most Filipinos, in the slums and the countrysides, young Filipinos will continue to stand and fight the elitist and oligarchs, even if they are protected by the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

The war in our country will go on, after President Duterte, myself and other older Filipinos have been buried, unless genuine land reforms were effected and bureaucratic capitalism were destroyed in our country.

What will I do the next few years? I may live in 2 years more. Or perhaps, 3 or five more years. What will I do?

If God give me more time to live? After we published this Auto-Biography, “MEMORIES: Faith & People’s Struggle for Freedom”, released January 18, 2018. This is our PART 11.

Then, we will work for the publication of PART 1- “MEMORIES: Early Life, Studies, Training & Involvements in the Works for Change ,” which we target to print November 2018. I have written the volume already. It needs re-writing, editing and proofreading.

The PART 111, “REMEMBRANCHES: Experiments, Practices on Natural Farming & the Present Battles Against Drugs, Corruptions & the Dream for Federai Democracy”.

Hopefully, we will published this February 2019.

We also plan to re-print and publish the 9 small books (95 to 120 pages) we have printed in 1999 – 2008, with Rev. Olof Lindstrom which were now out- of- circulations. The 8 books of the past, includes “FROM LUZON, VISAYAS & SWEDEN, too”. FROM MY PULPIT Nov. 2003, FROM MY PULPIT Part TWO, Nov. 2004; FROM MY PLATFORM & PULPIT, November 2005; PERSONALITIES IN OUR TIME -10 PORTRAITS, May 2006; PERSONALITIES IN OUR TIME: From Asia and Europe, April 2007 and PERSONALITES: From the Philippines, Chile & UK”, May 2008. We have now started to re-encode the books. We will re-print it along the way.

A small group of writers, have now started to think of writing short biographies of pastors, church and community leaders in the ecumenical communities, so their lives, struggles and experiences could help and guide the younger generations. I thanked our friends, who will help us publish these books.

Thank you for being part of this book -MEMORIES; Life & People's Struggle for Freedom". God bless us all!

Hesther Bernal--Partner in Life, Business, Care of our Children & Our Battle Against the Hardest Enemy - Cancer

Chapter 60

Hesther Alvarez Bernal: My Partner in Life, Ministry, Marketing, Publishing, Farming, Guiding our Children & Fighting Her Hardest Battle --Cancer

After our marriage in 1978, six months later, Hesther decided to resign from her work at Maao Planters Association. She had worked there since she was a college student. She resigned to join me in Iloilo City. It was a hard decision on her part, leaving a permanent job, and be part of my ministry, which carries an uncertain future.

In our ministry, there were feelings of uncertainty. During our time, Pastors were often called by church only for 1 year term. When our term was nearing its end, Pastors wait for a possible recall. The waiting was often painful and hard.

We rented the house of Rev. Apolonio Francia, near the railway in Jaro. We stayed there for nearly two year. I was assigned by Rev. Edwin Lopez at CPBC national office. I worked as Deputy for Projects. I will assist him in projects development and implementations in the Convention. In order that she will not feel bored, she made handkerchiefs with crochettes on the edges. She could make several dozen a week. That gave her some income. Hesther has always a friend here, and friends from abroad.

Hesther got involved in ecumenical women’s works. She joined people’s rallies in Iloilo City together with Baptist groups. She also joined Deli Baclagon, Inday Asis and other women training in Manila, which was scheduled when there was a coming national people’s marches. She joined the People’s March, with participants from the NCCP and other ecumenical groups.

It was great a events in Manila with thousands upon thousands people marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984

It was great events in Manila with thousands and thousands peoples marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984.

It was during a medical check-up at NCCP after the People’s Long March that she learned she was pregnant. That’s why we nicknamed our first son, Rally Boy.

From my salary, we bought on isntallment a parcel of subdivision land. It was 185 Sq meters. We paid it in 5 years. We thought it will be good if we have our own small house. We can plant some vegetables and care for some chickens or quail. These will help our daily food needs.

For about four years we lived in a small room with students in a rented house.

We kept a part of my salary to buy materials for our house. We bought little by little every pay day, galvanized sheets for roofings. We bought nails that will be needed. We slowly bought some Lawanit for our walls. That was long. It was about 3 years, when we thought we can start building our small house.

Then, my father and my uncle came to Leganes to help us build our house. It was a small house. It was built with coco lumber, bamboo, lawanit walls and galvanized iron for roofing.

We made a small fishpond, about 2 meter long and 1 meter wide. Here we will raise Hito or tilapia. This will help provide us some of our basic needs, while in the ministry. It will be hard, if we buy our every needs from a small salary I received from CPBC. Though, I am Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I received a salary just a few hundred pesos above the minimum wage.

When we transferred our home, Rally Boy was nearly 1½ years old. His younger brother, Rod Chester was five (5) months in her mother’s womb. About 5 months after we lived in our house, I went to Libacao, Aklan for a training of farmers. I stayed there for 2 days. When I left, I bought )4 kilos of rice, some cans of milk, a dozen eggs, some can goods, sugar and bath soaps and laundry soaps.

The night, after I left, thieves, which I think, two people entered our house. They took some of the rice, canned goods and powdered milk. They left Hesther about one-third of it. They got two thirds of our supplies. Otherwise, Hesther and our boy would not have nothing to eat for two days. They took away my Nikon Camera. They took the Enlarger, we used in photography from our Dark Room. Hesther was fast asleep.

When I arrived and learned about the incident, I was deeply worried. Thieves entered our house easily. We sat down on the bed. We prayed together. I thanked the Lord that the thieves did not take all the food. They left something for my wife and child. And God made sure my wife and child were not hurt. They were safe. I thanked God for the protections. I believed it was God who protected my family. For the thieves entered our room, took the camera that was hung at the corner of Hesther’s bed, just above her head.

That afternoon, I went to side of the house, were we planted bananas. The bananas were now growing. Outside the fence, I saw our Photo Enlarger. It was left by the thieves. It was bit bulky. I saw also a dagger, 4 inches long. They left also the dagger. I took the dagger. I carried it often. I asked, some who was the owner. But nobody said, it was his. Or, who the owner was.

Hesther was my partner in all the works I do, in the ministry and in the business we tried to undertake. I feel, pastors should learn an enterprise while in the ministry, if we worked in churches and communities were, most were poor and struggling.

She was my partner when we started our first enterprise – making Salted Peanuts and Banana Cakes. That helped us, in the hardest time of our life – after I resigned from my work at CPBC as Director of the New Frontier Ministries. The situations, I was put, before I resigned was very hard for my mind and heart to take.

Hesther was my partner, when as Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I and our staff were arrested twice. While pregnant, she went and looked for our lawyer, who will work for our release and helped defend our case.

She was my partner, when we started “Hour of Discovery” radio ministry. She was there when we made our maiden broadcast, with fund enough for 5 months air time costs. It was a ministry, the Lord helped and guided until we decided to end, in 2005 after 20 years from 1985. She helped correct my written messages and edit some articles, I wrote.

We worked together when we started Bernal Designs Enterprise, with Jaz Cola distributorship. She was the Cashier & Accountant. We have started business, all from loans and financing, from Jaz Cola Company. Our debt was more than P3 M. We hoped when we paid all our debts and loans, life will a bit easier. But Jaz Cola was sold and we went down fast. I think, one purpose of San Miguel Corporation for buying Jaz Cola, was to slowly let it die. So that, after few years, there will be no more competitions against Cokes.

She joined me, when we organized Alternative Resource Development Center, Inc., started our ministry of printing and publishing. She served as Editor of books we published. We were starting to develop the business and ministry, then Typhoon Frank came, destroying all our equipment for printing, publishing and broadcasting. After Frank flood, we were back to almost zero. But God gave us the strength, courage and ideas to go on. To work and never surrender.

After Typhoon Frank, we lost almost everything. We have nothing to start life again. We prayed. We asked God to help us find a small farm we can lease or rent. He helped and allow us to rent a farm, nearly 3 hectares to rent. We went farming. And together, God taught us how to do natural farming.

We journey together in life, with faith, hopes and dreams.

Hesther helped also in the ministry of Lifegate Church (former Leganes Baptist Church). She’s member of the Board of Deacons. She attended services every Sunday with our sons. I am always out in the churches and communities. Often I am home only on Mondays. I was working in churches, farmers and fishermen’s associations, all over some villages in Aklan and Northern Iloilo.

One day, Hesther was hospitalized. She was operated and her left breast was taken. It was positive for cancer cell. She took a chemotheraphy. We prayed for her recovery. We worked for ways that will strengthen her body, mind and spirit.

She recovered. But five years later, her other breast was operated again. She took radiation for 28 days, daily. Few years after radiations, she was adviced to take chemoteraphy again.

We realized what cancer was. When you are hit with cancer, your time is soon coming to end. That time our children were still small. The youngest, Dodo was only 7 years old. We prayed. Our prayer was simple and strong. We asked God for a little more time of her life. We asked it as a Special Gift from the Lord. Some more years of her life. It would be very hard if she was taken when our youngest son was still small.

God answered our prayers. He took Hesther in May 4, 2010, 17 years after her first cancer operations that was malignant. During the 17 years of her sickness, she took two chemotherapy treatments. She took also radiation treatments. about 3 hours every day, with faith and patience.

We combined modern medicine with traditional treatments. She need to have strong mind, body and spirit. Many of her friends, also cancer patients and members of their Cancer’s Club, each passed away, the last 17 years. She remained steadfast, strong and full of life both in the community, in church and in our little enterprise.

She eat more vegetables and fish and less meat. She tried to get more time for exercise. We go together to the beach walking at the salty waters or swimming in the beach. We have little money. Her two Chemotherapy were assisted by the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes. Her radiation treatment for 28 days, daily, She was treated well. We gave only donations of a few thousands pesos.

My friends, Ake Svalfors and Olof Lindstroms, also sent some amount for her medications. Some of her classmaters, send her amount for hospitalization. But cancer was a battle, we seldom won.

In mid-2009, I was member of the Personnel Committee, under President Arsenio Llamas and Rev. Job Santiago. I was presiding the CPBC Personnel Committee meeting. The Committee was deliberating on Rev. Judson Herbilla, Sr., application for General Secretary. We have already finished deliberations on Rev. Edwin Lariza and Rev. Noel Luces.

That morning we were finalizing interview with Rev. Judson Herbilla. The results will be presented to the Board of Trustees the next few weeks. I felt a kind of pain in my breast. I went to the CR.

When I came back, Rev. Joel Valdez came to me. He asked what I felt. He sensed something wrong with me. Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. and Mrs. Feraz Legita came to me. They asked me to go to Iloilo Mission Hospital. I told them I will just go home. I will take a rest home. But they did not permit me. They brought me to Iloilo Mission Hospital.

I was admitted at the Emergency Room. I was taken cared of by the nurses. Then, about 30 minutes, I felt so sleepy. I slept. It was a long sleep. I was told by my sons, I lost consciousness 30 minutes later. I regained consciousness 37 hours after. I remembered, telling Mrs. Legita to admit me at IMH’s Men’s Ward. I knew private rooms were expensive.

But when my sisters, Elvira and Myrna came, they transferred me to a private room. There, they feel, they can help care and watch me more easier.

When I wook up, I saw my 2 sons. But I cannot remember their names. There was also Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. But I cannot remember her name. I knew her only as Manay. It took 2 days, for me to remember my son’s names.

The two doctors, one taking charge of my body. The other was taking charge of my mind. They told me later, they were worried. I have gone unconscious before one of them arrived.

They had no knowledge and background of my sickness. They were just called when I was brought at the Emergency Room. I remembered Miss Deli Baclagon, said she will call him. I have gone to a hospital, only once, since I was born. And that was for stomach trouble for a day. Looking at me, the doctor thought I got a stroke. Perhaps, a mild one.

Carefully, my doctors gave me medicine. Both for my stroke and for my mind. I recovered fast. The doctors told me my recovery was fast. Really fast. The recovery of my body from stroke. And the recovery of my mind and memory.

Hesther was really sick that week. She cannot visit me at the hospital. She has to stay at home, with our son Noynoy and Dodo. While my two sons, Rally and Toses, were in the hospital with me. She was told, I had a stroke. She told me she prayed. She really prayed very hard. She asked God to bring me back my health. I am needed by our children.

She told the Lord. “Lord, what will happen to our family, if I die? I am weak with cancer. And Rudy will be helpless suffering from stroke? Please, Lord, give Rudy back his health. Please help him recover fast.” Slowly, I recovered. I was released from the hospital 5 days later. Though my doctors told me to visit them in 2 weeks time.

Every time Hesther was hospitalized her younger sister, Mrs. Gilda Dequena always came. She stayed until Hesther can go home. Also her other sister, Mrs. Belen Puerto always came when she was in the hospital. They were here during her wake.

Her elder sister, Mrs. Rosea Saplada came during her burial and assisted us. Many of her cousins and relatives from Maao Central and Bago City came. And her youngest sister, Rachel Abayon came and joined, three days before her burial.

At her funeral, at Lifegate Church, her sisters, brothers and cousins from Negros came. My brothers and sisters from Carles also came to be with her. Our cousins and friends in Carles and Iloilo City who were Seventh Day Adventists, visited her. My younger brother, Restituto Jr., the next to me, joined me the day after Hesther died. He stayed with us, until she was buried. He did lots of work in helping me at home, while on Hesther’s wake.

Our friends in the Baptist Convention and the Ecumenical ministries, visited Hesther at her wake. Some came during her funeral.

Some officers and members of Gabriela Women’s Party came to her wake. The members of West Visayas Ecumenical Council, joined her wake. Our neighbors in Leganes were there. Her classmates and friends from abroad, wrote letters of condolences. She was part of their lives.

Rev. Albert Valdez delivered the Necrological Message. Lifegate Church Choir sang. I gave a short message, thanking all her friends and relatives. Our 4 sons were there, at the front seats. They looked at their mother’s coffin with courageous hearts. Their eyes were red and moist. But they did not cry. Rev. Joel Valdez committed her to the Lord.

It was fitting remembrance for the woman, who have been part of my life and of our four children.

Before she died, she talked to our children. To each of them, she had given her instructions. What they will do when she’s gone. The dress she will use on her burial day was prepared. She entrusted it to Dodo, our youngest son. It was not new. But she tried to make it beautiful. She told my son, that dress will be used on her burial. But if, I will asked that another dress will be used, they will follow my request.

My sister, Zenaida, a Pastor and dressmaker made a new dress for Hesther. I requested it to be used. And the dress she prepared was put on her breast in the coffin. The Special Music that were sang, she selected and requested the church music director to do it. She never told me of the preparations she made when she died and buried.

My sister Myrna, facilitated things, from bringing her body from the hospital to the funeral home. I cannot do it. She was the one who did what was needed to be done. I only follow her. It was very hard, when your wife is dead, I seem not to know what to do. But God just gave me strength.

Mrs. Myrna Ilacio, came to our home carrying several curtains, to be used in our home to make it a bit more presenatable during her wake. She also brought several cans of coffee and bread for the wake.

My sons were near her when the last songs, message and prayers were made before she was interned at her grave at the Philippine American Cemetery Association, where we were members. We prepared two small space for our burial, one for me and one for her. A beautiful place, a clean place, a place where we often come for meditation and prayers. The officers of our association were there. They came and visited us at home in Leganes during her wake.

I asked Hesther, in her wake, to be with me always. To help me, as I guide our four children in their early lives. I asked her to show me, what I will do, thru some dreams and visions. But Hesther never gave a dream. She did not talk to me in dreams. She did not show me a vision. She just went home softly and joined the Lord.

But her spirit and thoughts were always with us. I felt it in many ways. She guided us, both me and our children –Rally, Noynoy, Toses and Dodo. She’s spoke to us, to remind us of what we need to do. She did it through reminders… how she did and what she said, before. Her presence was always with us!

She died May 4, 2010. She was buried May 11. Last May 10, 2010, the day before, she will be buried, I opened her coffin while I was alone, early one morning. I looked at her face for a long time. That was the last time, I will ever see her face. It was fresh. I bowed down on the coffin. I kissed her lips. I kissed it softly and tenderly.

I prayed and bid her goodbye. We knew the Lord’s promise. One day, we will meet and be together again. These gave me the strength to move on.

Hesther Bernal--Partner in Life, Business, Care of our Children & Our Battle Against the Hardest Enemy - Cancer

Hesther Alvarez Bernal: My Partner in Life, Ministry, Marketing, Publishing, Farming, Guiding our Children & Fighting Her Hardest Battle --Cancer

After our marriage in 1978, six months later, Hesther decided to resign from her work at Maao Planters Association. She had worked there since she was a college student. She resigned to join me in Iloilo City. It was a hard decision on her part, leaving a permanent job, and be part of my ministry, which carries an uncertain future.

In our ministry, there were feelings of uncertainty. During our time, Pastors were often called by church only for 1 year term. When our term was nearing its end, Pastors wait for a possible recall. The waiting was often painful and hard.

We rented the house of Rev. Apolonio Francia, near the railway in Jaro. We stayed there for nearly two year. I was assigned by Rev. Edwin Lopez at CPBC national office. I worked as Deputy for Projects. I will assist him in projects development and implementations in the Convention. In order that she will not feel bored, she made handkerchiefs with crochettes on the edges. She could make several dozen a week. That gave her some income. Hesther has always a friend here, and friends from abroad.

Hesther got involved in ecumenical women’s works. She joined people’s rallies in Iloilo City together with Baptist groups. She also joined Deli Baclagon, Inday Asis and other women training in Manila, which was scheduled when there was a coming national people’s marches. She joined the People’s March, with participants from the NCCP and other ecumenical groups.

It was great a events in Manila with thousands upon thousands people marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984

It was great events in Manila with thousands and thousands peoples marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984.

It was during a medical check-up at NCCP after the People’s Long March that she learned she was pregnant. That’s why we nicknamed our first son, Rally Boy.

From my salary, we bought on isntallment a parcel of subdivision land. It was 185 Sq meters. We paid it in 5 years. We thought it will be good if we have our own small house. We can plant some vegetables and care for some chickens or quail. These will help our daily food needs.

For about four years we lived in a small room with students in a rented house.

We kept a part of my salary to buy materials for our house. We bought little by little every pay day, galvanized sheets for roofings. We bought nails that will be needed. We slowly bought some Lawanit for our walls. That was long. It was about 3 years, when we thought we can start building our small house.

Then, my father and my uncle came to Leganes to help us build our house. It was a small house. It was built with coco lumber, bamboo, lawanit walls and galvanized iron for roofing.

We made a small fishpond, about 2 meter long and 1 meter wide. Here we will raise Hito or tilapia. This will help provide us some of our basic needs, while in the ministry. It will be hard, if we buy our every needs from a small salary I received from CPBC. Though, I am Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I received a salary just a few hundred pesos above the minimum wage.

When we transferred our home, Rally Boy was nearly 1½ years old. His younger brother, Rod Chester was five (5) months in her mother’s womb. About 5 months after we lived in our house, I went to Libacao, Aklan for a training of farmers. I stayed there for 2 days. When I left, I bought )4 kilos of rice, some cans of milk, a dozen eggs, some can goods, sugar and bath soaps and laundry soaps.

The night, after I left, thieves, which I think, two people entered our house. They took some of the rice, canned goods and powdered milk. They left Hesther about one-third of it. They got two thirds of our supplies. Otherwise, Hesther and our boy would not have nothing to eat for two days. They took away my Nikon Camera. They took the Enlarger, we used in photography from our Dark Room. Hesther was fast asleep.

When I arrived and learned about the incident, I was deeply worried. Thieves entered our house easily. We sat down on the bed. We prayed together. I thanked the Lord that the thieves did not take all the food. They left something for my wife and child. And God made sure my wife and child were not hurt. They were safe. I thanked God for the protections. I believed it was God who protected my family. For the thieves entered our room, took the camera that was hung at the corner of Hesther’s bed, just above her head.

That afternoon, I went to side of the house, were we planted bananas. The bananas were now growing. Outside the fence, I saw our Photo Enlarger. It was left by the thieves. It was bit bulky. I saw also a dagger, 4 inches long. They left also the dagger. I took the dagger. I carried it often. I asked, some who was the owner. But nobody said, it was his. Or, who the owner was.

Hesther was my partner in all the works I do, in the ministry and in the business we tried to undertake. I feel, pastors should learn an enterprise while in the ministry, if we worked in churches and communities were, most were poor and struggling.

She was my partner when we started our first enterprise – making Salted Peanuts and Banana Cakes. That helped us, in the hardest time of our life – after I resigned from my work at CPBC as Director of the New Frontier Ministries. The situations, I was put, before I resigned was very hard for my mind and heart to take.

Hesther was my partner, when as Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I and our staff were arrested twice. While pregnant, she went and looked for our lawyer, who will work for our release and helped defend our case.

She was my partner, when we started “Hour of Discovery” radio ministry. She was there when we made our maiden broadcast, with fund enough for 5 months air time costs. It was a ministry, the Lord helped and guided until we decided to end, in 2005 after 20 years from 1985. She helped correct my written messages and edit some articles, I wrote.

We worked together when we started Bernal Designs Enterprise, with Jaz Cola distributorship. She was the Cashier & Accountant. We have started business, all from loans and financing, from Jaz Cola Company. Our debt was more than P3 M. We hoped when we paid all our debts and loans, life will a bit easier. But Jaz Cola was sold and we went down fast. I think, one purpose of San Miguel Corporation for buying Jaz Cola, was to slowly let it die. So that, after few years, there will be no more competitions against Cokes.

She joined me, when we organized Alternative Resource Development Center, Inc., started our ministry of printing and publishing. She served as Editor of books we published. We were starting to develop the business and ministry, then Typhoon Frank came, destroying all our equipment for printing, publishing and broadcasting. After Frank flood, we were back to almost zero. But God gave us the strength, courage and ideas to go on. To work and never surrender.

After Typhoon Frank, we lost almost everything. We have nothing to start life again. We prayed. We asked God to help us find a small farm we can lease or rent. He helped and allow us to rent a farm, nearly 3 hectares to rent. We went farming. And together, God taught us how to do natural farming.

We journey together in life, with faith, hopes and dreams.

Hesther helped also in the ministry of Lifegate Church (former Leganes Baptist Church). She’s member of the Board of Deacons. She attended services every Sunday with our sons. I am always out in the churches and communities. Often I am home only on Mondays. I was working in churches, farmers and fishermen’s associations, all over some villages in Aklan and Northern Iloilo.

One day, Hesther was hospitalized. She was operated and her left breast was taken. It was positive for cancer cell. She took a chemotheraphy. We prayed for her recovery. We worked for ways that will strengthen her body, mind and spirit.

She recovered. But five years later, her other breast was operated again. She took radiation for 28 days, daily. Few years after radiations, she was adviced to take chemoteraphy again.

We realized what cancer was. When you are hit with cancer, your time is soon coming to end. That time our children were still small. The youngest, Dodo was only 7 years old. We prayed. Our prayer was simple and strong. We asked God for a little more time of her life. We asked it as a Special Gift from the Lord. Some more years of her life. It would be very hard if she was taken when our youngest son was still small.

God answered our prayers. He took Hesther in May 4, 2010, 17 years after her first cancer operations that was malignant. During the 17 years of her sickness, she took two chemotherapy treatments. She took also radiation treatments. about 3 hours every day, with faith and patience.

We combined modern medicine with traditional treatments. She need to have strong mind, body and spirit. Many of her friends, also cancer patients and members of their Cancer’s Club, each passed away, the last 17 years. She remained steadfast, strong and full of life both in the community, in church and in our little enterprise.

She eat more vegetables and fish and less meat. She tried to get more time for exercise. We go together to the beach walking at the salty waters or swimming in the beach. We have little money. Her two Chemotherapy were assisted by the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes. Her radiation treatment for 28 days, daily, She was treated well. We gave only donations of a few thousands pesos.

My friends, Ake Svalfors and Olof Lindstroms, also sent some amount for her medications. Some of her classmaters, send her amount for hospitalization. But cancer was a battle, we seldom won.

In mid-2009, I was member of the Personnel Committee, under President Arsenio Llamas and Rev. Job Santiago. I was presiding the CPBC Personnel Committee meeting. The Committee was deliberating on Rev. Judson Herbilla, Sr., application for General Secretary. We have already finished deliberations on Rev. Edwin Lariza and Rev. Noel Luces.

That morning we were finalizing interview with Rev. Judson Herbilla. The results will be presented to the Board of Trustees the next few weeks. I felt a kind of pain in my breast. I went to the CR.

When I came back, Rev. Joel Valdez came to me. He asked what I felt. He sensed something wrong with me. Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. and Mrs. Feraz Legita came to me. They asked me to go to Iloilo Mission Hospital. I told them I will just go home. I will take a rest home. But they did not permit me. They brought me to Iloilo Mission Hospital.

I was admitted at the Emergency Room. I was taken cared of by the nurses. Then, about 30 minutes, I felt so sleepy. I slept. It was a long sleep. I was told by my sons, I lost consciousness 30 minutes later. I regained consciousness 37 hours after. I remembered, telling Mrs. Legita to admit me at IMH’s Men’s Ward. I knew private rooms were expensive.

But when my sisters, Elvira and Myrna came, they transferred me to a private room. There, they feel, they can help care and watch me more easier.

When I wook up, I saw my 2 sons. But I cannot remember their names. There was also Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. But I cannot remember her name. I knew her only as Manay. It took 2 days, for me to remember my son’s names.

The two doctors, one taking charge of my body. The other was taking charge of my mind. They told me later, they were worried. I have gone unconscious before one of them arrived.

They had no knowledge and background of my sickness. They were just called when I was brought at the Emergency Room. I remembered Miss Deli Baclagon, said she will call him. I have gone to a hospital, only once, since I was born. And that was for stomach trouble for a day. Looking at me, the doctor thought I got a stroke. Perhaps, a mild one.

Carefully, my doctors gave me medicine. Both for my stroke and for my mind. I recovered fast. The doctors told me my recovery was fast. Really fast. The recovery of my body from stroke. And the recovery of my mind and memory.

Hesther was really sick that week. She cannot visit me at the hospital. She has to stay at home, with our son Noynoy and Dodo. While my two sons, Rally and Toses, were in the hospital with me. She was told, I had a stroke. She told me she prayed. She really prayed very hard. She asked God to bring me back my health. I am needed by our children.

She told the Lord. “Lord, what will happen to our family, if I die? I am weak with cancer. And Rudy will be helpless suffering from stroke? Please, Lord, give Rudy back his health. Please help him recover fast.” Slowly, I recovered. I was released from the hospital 5 days later. Though my doctors told me to visit them in 2 weeks time.

Every time Hesther was hospitalized her younger sister, Mrs. Gilda Dequena always came. She stayed until Hesther can go home. Also her other sister, Mrs. Belen Puerto always came when she was in the hospital. They were here during her wake.

Her elder sister, Mrs. Rosea Saplada came during her burial and assisted us. Many of her cousins and relatives from Maao Central and Bago City came. And her youngest sister, Rachel Abayon came and joined, three days before her burial.

At her funeral, at Lifegate Church, her sisters, brothers and cousins from Negros came. My brothers and sisters from Carles also came to be with her. Our cousins and friends in Carles and Iloilo City who were Seventh Day Adventists, visited her. My younger brother, Restituto Jr., the next to me, joined me the day after Hesther died. He stayed with us, until she was buried. He did lots of work in helping me at home, while on Hesther’s wake.

Our friends in the Baptist Convention and the Ecumenical ministries, visited Hesther at her wake. Some came during her funeral.

Some officers and members of Gabriela Women’s Party came to her wake. The members of West Visayas Ecumenical Council, joined her wake. Our neighbors in Leganes were there. Her classmates and friends from abroad, wrote letters of condolences. She was part of their lives.

Rev. Albert Valdez delivered the Necrological Message. Lifegate Church Choir sang. I gave a short message, thanking all her friends and relatives. Our 4 sons were there, at the front seats. They looked at their mother’s coffin with courageous hearts. Their eyes were red and moist. But they did not cry. Rev. Joel Valdez committed her to the Lord.

It was fitting remembrance for the woman, who have been part of my life and of our four children.

Before she died, she talked to our children. To each of them, she had given her instructions. What they will do when she’s gone. The dress she will use on her burial day was prepared. She entrusted it to Dodo, our youngest son. It was not new. But she tried to make it beautiful. She told my son, that dress will be used on her burial. But if, I will asked that another dress will be used, they will follow my request.

My sister, Zenaida, a Pastor and dressmaker made a new dress for Hesther. I requested it to be used. And the dress she prepared was put on her breast in the coffin. The Special Music that were sang, she selected and requested the church music director to do it. She never told me of the preparations she made when she died and buried.

My sister Myrna, facilitated things, from bringing her body from the hospital to the funeral home. I cannot do it. She was the one who did what was needed to be done. I only follow her. It was very hard, when your wife is dead, I seem not to know what to do. But God just gave me strength.

Mrs. Myrna Ilacio, came to our home carrying several curtains, to be used in our home to make it a bit more presenatable during her wake. She also brought several cans of coffee and bread for the wake.

My sons were near her when the last songs, message and prayers were made before she was interned at her grave at the Philippine American Cemetery Association, where we were members. We prepared two small space for our burial, one for me and one for her. A beautiful place, a clean place, a place where we often come for meditation and prayers. The officers of our association were there. They came and visited us at home in Leganes during her wake.

I asked Hesther, in her wake, to be with me always. To help me, as I guide our four children in their early lives. I asked her to show me, what I will do, thru some dreams and visions. But Hesther never gave a dream. She did not talk to me in dreams. She did not show me a vision. She just went home softly and joined the Lord.

But her spirit and thoughts were always with us. I felt it in many ways. She guided us, both me and our children –Rally, Noynoy, Toses and Dodo. She’s spoke to us, to remind us of what we need to do. She did it through reminders… how she did and what she said, before. Her presence was always with us!

She died May 4, 2010. She was buried May 11. Last May 10, 2010, the day before, she will be buried, I opened her coffin while I was alone, early one morning. I looked at her face for a long time. That was the last time, I will ever see her face. It was fresh. I bowed down on the coffin. I kissed her lips. I kissed it softly and tenderly.

I prayed and bid her goodbye. We knew the Lord’s promise. One day, we will meet and be together again. These gave me the strength to move on.

Hesther Bernal--Partner in Life, Business, Care of our Children & Our Battle Against the Hardest Enemy - Cancer

Chapter 60

Hesther Alvarez Bernal: My Partner in Life, Ministry, Marketing, Publishing, Farming, Guiding our Children & Fighting Her Hardest Battle --Cancer

After our marriage in 1978, six months later, Hesther decided to resign from her work at Maao Planters Association. She had worked there since she was a college student. She resigned to join me in Iloilo City. It was a hard decision on her part, leaving a permanent job, and be part of my ministry, which carries an uncertain future.

In our ministry, there were feelings of uncertainty. During our time, Pastors were often called by church only for 1 year term. When our term was nearing its end, Pastors wait for a possible recall. The waiting was often painful and hard.

We rented the house of Rev. Apolonio Francia, near the railway in Jaro. We stayed there for nearly two year. I was assigned by Rev. Edwin Lopez at CPBC national office. I worked as Deputy for Projects. I will assist him in projects development and implementations in the Convention. In order that she will not feel bored, she made handkerchiefs with crochettes on the edges. She could make several dozen a week. That gave her some income. Hesther has always a friend here, and friends from abroad.

Hesther got involved in ecumenical women’s works. She joined people’s rallies in Iloilo City together with Baptist groups. She also joined Deli Baclagon, Inday Asis and other women training in Manila, which was scheduled when there was a coming national people’s marches. She joined the People’s March, with participants from the NCCP and other ecumenical groups.

It was great a events in Manila with thousands upon thousands people marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984

It was great events in Manila with thousands and thousands peoples marching from Southern Luzon and Northern Luzon, joining their forces in Manila. These was in 1984.

It was during a medical check-up at NCCP after the People’s Long March that she learned she was pregnant. That’s why we nicknamed our first son, Rally Boy.

From my salary, we bought on isntallment a parcel of subdivision land. It was 185 Sq meters. We paid it in 5 years. We thought it will be good if we have our own small house. We can plant some vegetables and care for some chickens or quail. These will help our daily food needs.

For about four years we lived in a small room with students in a rented house.

We kept a part of my salary to buy materials for our house. We bought little by little every pay day, galvanized sheets for roofings. We bought nails that will be needed. We slowly bought some Lawanit for our walls. That was long. It was about 3 years, when we thought we can start building our small house.

Then, my father and my uncle came to Leganes to help us build our house. It was a small house. It was built with coco lumber, bamboo, lawanit walls and galvanized iron for roofing.

We made a small fishpond, about 2 meter long and 1 meter wide. Here we will raise Hito or tilapia. This will help provide us some of our basic needs, while in the ministry. It will be hard, if we buy our every needs from a small salary I received from CPBC. Though, I am Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I received a salary just a few hundred pesos above the minimum wage.

When we transferred our home, Rally Boy was nearly 1½ years old. His younger brother, Rod Chester was five (5) months in her mother’s womb. About 5 months after we lived in our house, I went to Libacao, Aklan for a training of farmers. I stayed there for 2 days. When I left, I bought )4 kilos of rice, some cans of milk, a dozen eggs, some can goods, sugar and bath soaps and laundry soaps.

The night, after I left, thieves, which I think, two people entered our house. They took some of the rice, canned goods and powdered milk. They left Hesther about one-third of it. They got two thirds of our supplies. Otherwise, Hesther and our boy would not have nothing to eat for two days. They took away my Nikon Camera. They took the Enlarger, we used in photography from our Dark Room. Hesther was fast asleep.

When I arrived and learned about the incident, I was deeply worried. Thieves entered our house easily. We sat down on the bed. We prayed together. I thanked the Lord that the thieves did not take all the food. They left something for my wife and child. And God made sure my wife and child were not hurt. They were safe. I thanked God for the protections. I believed it was God who protected my family. For the thieves entered our room, took the camera that was hung at the corner of Hesther’s bed, just above her head.

That afternoon, I went to side of the house, were we planted bananas. The bananas were now growing. Outside the fence, I saw our Photo Enlarger. It was left by the thieves. It was bit bulky. I saw also a dagger, 4 inches long. They left also the dagger. I took the dagger. I carried it often. I asked, some who was the owner. But nobody said, it was his. Or, who the owner was.

Hesther was my partner in all the works I do, in the ministry and in the business we tried to undertake. I feel, pastors should learn an enterprise while in the ministry, if we worked in churches and communities were, most were poor and struggling.

She was my partner when we started our first enterprise – making Salted Peanuts and Banana Cakes. That helped us, in the hardest time of our life – after I resigned from my work at CPBC as Director of the New Frontier Ministries. The situations, I was put, before I resigned was very hard for my mind and heart to take.

Hesther was my partner, when as Director of the New Frontier Ministries, I and our staff were arrested twice. While pregnant, she went and looked for our lawyer, who will work for our release and helped defend our case.

She was my partner, when we started “Hour of Discovery” radio ministry. She was there when we made our maiden broadcast, with fund enough for 5 months air time costs. It was a ministry, the Lord helped and guided until we decided to end, in 2005 after 20 years from 1985. She helped correct my written messages and edit some articles, I wrote.

We worked together when we started Bernal Designs Enterprise, with Jaz Cola distributorship. She was the Cashier & Accountant. We have started business, all from loans and financing, from Jaz Cola Company. Our debt was more than P3 M. We hoped when we paid all our debts and loans, life will a bit easier. But Jaz Cola was sold and we went down fast. I think, one purpose of San Miguel Corporation for buying Jaz Cola, was to slowly let it die. So that, after few years, there will be no more competitions against Cokes.

She joined me, when we organized Alternative Resource Development Center, Inc., started our ministry of printing and publishing. She served as Editor of books we published. We were starting to develop the business and ministry, then Typhoon Frank came, destroying all our equipment for printing, publishing and broadcasting. After Frank flood, we were back to almost zero. But God gave us the strength, courage and ideas to go on. To work and never surrender.

After Typhoon Frank, we lost almost everything. We have nothing to start life again. We prayed. We asked God to help us find a small farm we can lease or rent. He helped and allow us to rent a farm, nearly 3 hectares to rent. We went farming. And together, God taught us how to do natural farming.

We journey together in life, with faith, hopes and dreams.

Hesther helped also in the ministry of Lifegate Church (former Leganes Baptist Church). She’s member of the Board of Deacons. She attended services every Sunday with our sons. I am always out in the churches and communities. Often I am home only on Mondays. I was working in churches, farmers and fishermen’s associations, all over some villages in Aklan and Northern Iloilo.

One day, Hesther was hospitalized. She was operated and her left breast was taken. It was positive for cancer cell. She took a chemotheraphy. We prayed for her recovery. We worked for ways that will strengthen her body, mind and spirit.

She recovered. But five years later, her other breast was operated again. She took radiation for 28 days, daily. Few years after radiations, she was adviced to take chemoteraphy again.

We realized what cancer was. When you are hit with cancer, your time is soon coming to end. That time our children were still small. The youngest, Dodo was only 7 years old. We prayed. Our prayer was simple and strong. We asked God for a little more time of her life. We asked it as a Special Gift from the Lord. Some more years of her life. It would be very hard if she was taken when our youngest son was still small.

God answered our prayers. He took Hesther in May 4, 2010, 17 years after her first cancer operations that was malignant. During the 17 years of her sickness, she took two chemotherapy treatments. She took also radiation treatments. about 3 hours every day, with faith and patience.

We combined modern medicine with traditional treatments. She need to have strong mind, body and spirit. Many of her friends, also cancer patients and members of their Cancer’s Club, each passed away, the last 17 years. She remained steadfast, strong and full of life both in the community, in church and in our little enterprise.

She eat more vegetables and fish and less meat. She tried to get more time for exercise. We go together to the beach walking at the salty waters or swimming in the beach. We have little money. Her two Chemotherapy were assisted by the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes. Her radiation treatment for 28 days, daily, She was treated well. We gave only donations of a few thousands pesos.

My friends, Ake Svalfors and Olof Lindstroms, also sent some amount for her medications. Some of her classmaters, send her amount for hospitalization. But cancer was a battle, we seldom won.

In mid-2009, I was member of the Personnel Committee, under President Arsenio Llamas and Rev. Job Santiago. I was presiding the CPBC Personnel Committee meeting. The Committee was deliberating on Rev. Judson Herbilla, Sr., application for General Secretary. We have already finished deliberations on Rev. Edwin Lariza and Rev. Noel Luces.

That morning we were finalizing interview with Rev. Judson Herbilla. The results will be presented to the Board of Trustees the next few weeks. I felt a kind of pain in my breast. I went to the CR.

When I came back, Rev. Joel Valdez came to me. He asked what I felt. He sensed something wrong with me. Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. and Mrs. Feraz Legita came to me. They asked me to go to Iloilo Mission Hospital. I told them I will just go home. I will take a rest home. But they did not permit me. They brought me to Iloilo Mission Hospital.

I was admitted at the Emergency Room. I was taken cared of by the nurses. Then, about 30 minutes, I felt so sleepy. I slept. It was a long sleep. I was told by my sons, I lost consciousness 30 minutes later. I regained consciousness 37 hours after. I remembered, telling Mrs. Legita to admit me at IMH’s Men’s Ward. I knew private rooms were expensive.

But when my sisters, Elvira and Myrna came, they transferred me to a private room. There, they feel, they can help care and watch me more easier.

When I wook up, I saw my 2 sons. But I cannot remember their names. There was also Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. But I cannot remember her name. I knew her only as Manay. It took 2 days, for me to remember my son’s names.

The two doctors, one taking charge of my body. The other was taking charge of my mind. They told me later, they were worried. I have gone unconscious before one of them arrived.

They had no knowledge and background of my sickness. They were just called when I was brought at the Emergency Room. I remembered Miss Deli Baclagon, said she will call him. I have gone to a hospital, only once, since I was born. And that was for stomach trouble for a day. Looking at me, the doctor thought I got a stroke. Perhaps, a mild one.

Carefully, my doctors gave me medicine. Both for my stroke and for my mind. I recovered fast. The doctors told me my recovery was fast. Really fast. The recovery of my body from stroke. And the recovery of my mind and memory.

Hesther was really sick that week. She cannot visit me at the hospital. She has to stay at home, with our son Noynoy and Dodo. While my two sons, Rally and Toses, were in the hospital with me. She was told, I had a stroke. She told me she prayed. She really prayed very hard. She asked God to bring me back my health. I am needed by our children.

She told the Lord. “Lord, what will happen to our family, if I die? I am weak with cancer. And Rudy will be helpless suffering from stroke? Please, Lord, give Rudy back his health. Please help him recover fast.” Slowly, I recovered. I was released from the hospital 5 days later. Though my doctors told me to visit them in 2 weeks time.

Every time Hesther was hospitalized her younger sister, Mrs. Gilda Dequena always came. She stayed until Hesther can go home. Also her other sister, Mrs. Belen Puerto always came when she was in the hospital. They were here during her wake.

Her elder sister, Mrs. Rosea Saplada came during her burial and assisted us. Many of her cousins and relatives from Maao Central and Bago City came. And her youngest sister, Rachel Abayon came and joined, three days before her burial.

At her funeral, at Lifegate Church, her sisters, brothers and cousins from Negros came. My brothers and sisters from Carles also came to be with her. Our cousins and friends in Carles and Iloilo City who were Seventh Day Adventists, visited her. My younger brother, Restituto Jr., the next to me, joined me the day after Hesther died. He stayed with us, until she was buried. He did lots of work in helping me at home, while on Hesther’s wake.

Our friends in the Baptist Convention and the Ecumenical ministries, visited Hesther at her wake. Some came during her funeral.

Some officers and members of Gabriela Women’s Party came to her wake. The members of West Visayas Ecumenical Council, joined her wake. Our neighbors in Leganes were there. Her classmates and friends from abroad, wrote letters of condolences. She was part of their lives.

Rev. Albert Valdez delivered the Necrological Message. Lifegate Church Choir sang. I gave a short message, thanking all her friends and relatives. Our 4 sons were there, at the front seats. They looked at their mother’s coffin with courageous hearts. Their eyes were red and moist. But they did not cry. Rev. Joel Valdez committed her to the Lord.

It was fitting remembrance for the woman, who have been part of my life and of our four children.

Before she died, she talked to our children. To each of them, she had given her instructions. What they will do when she’s gone. The dress she will use on her burial day was prepared. She entrusted it to Dodo, our youngest son. It was not new. But she tried to make it beautiful. She told my son, that dress will be used on her burial. But if, I will asked that another dress will be used, they will follow my request.

My sister, Zenaida, a Pastor and dressmaker made a new dress for Hesther. I requested it to be used. And the dress she prepared was put on her breast in the coffin. The Special Music that were sang, she selected and requested the church music director to do it. She never told me of the preparations she made when she died and buried.

My sister Myrna, facilitated things, from bringing her body from the hospital to the funeral home. I cannot do it. She was the one who did what was needed to be done. I only follow her. It was very hard, when your wife is dead, I seem not to know what to do. But God just gave me strength.

Mrs. Myrna Ilacio, came to our home carrying several curtains, to be used in our home to make it a bit more presenatable during her wake. She also brought several cans of coffee and bread for the wake.

My sons were near her when the last songs, message and prayers were made before she was interned at her grave at the Philippine American Cemetery Association, where we were members. We prepared two small space for our burial, one for me and one for her. A beautiful place, a clean place, a place where we often come for meditation and prayers. The officers of our association were there. They came and visited us at home in Leganes during her wake.

I asked Hesther, in her wake, to be with me always. To help me, as I guide our four children in their early lives. I asked her to show me, what I will do, thru some dreams and visions. But Hesther never gave a dream. She did not talk to me in dreams. She did not show me a vision. She just went home softly and joined the Lord.

But her spirit and thoughts were always with us. I felt it in many ways. She guided us, both me and our children –Rally, Noynoy, Toses and Dodo. She’s spoke to us, to remind us of what we need to do. She did it through reminders… how she did and what she said, before. Her presence was always with us!

She died May 4, 2010. She was buried May 11. Last May 10, 2010, the day before, she will be buried, I opened her coffin while I was alone, early one morning. I looked at her face for a long time. That was the last time, I will ever see her face. It was fresh. I bowed down on the coffin. I kissed her lips. I kissed it softly and tenderly.

I prayed and bid her goodbye. We knew the Lord’s promise. One day, we will meet and be together again. These gave me the strength to move on.