My Courtship and Marriage with Hesther Apostol Alvarez

M E M O R I E S:Life and Time of Pastor Rudy Bernal, his Glimpses on History & the People’s Struggle for Freedom

Chapter 36 - My Courtship and Marriage with Hesther Apostol  Alvarez

When I got married it in was early 1978. It was on the 2nd Year of my ministry at Maao Central Evangelical Church and new things developed in my life, my ministry, my economic and political perspectives. It was now 6 years after President Marcos declared martial law in the country. On my birthday in November 1977, I made the decision to court Hesther and marry her 4 months later..

In November 1977, on my birthday, I visited Hesther in Maao Central. We are already very close friends. He was very helpful while I was pastor of Maao Central Evangelical Church. And we remained very good friend. I did not court her. Though, I knew she’s very lovable. And on that day, I made my decision. I will court Hesther and make her my girlfriend. And soon, my wife. She has a good singing voice. Petite. And quite real feminine when she talks and moves. She finished her Commerce course. She was working with the Maao Planters Association.

I saw her other potentials as Pastor’s wife. She’s of Baptist faith all her life. She taught Junior grades at Sunday School. She sang in the choir. She was asked sometimes to be the soloist of the group. Sometimes, when I am writing something, I asked her to read my drafts. She make some corrections, specially on tenses, and others. Hesther has flair for language. She could do proofreading and editing works Soft spoken. But firm when she makes decisions. These were potentials, I will need if I will succeed in my ministry or any work God will call me in the future.

When I visit her from Hinobaan, which I do every two weeks, I often have a beautiful Bible verse to give her. One time, I gave her a book, which with poems “Beyond Forgetting” by Rolando Carbonel. Hesther, loves to read poetry.

I invited her that we will go to Bacolod City, to have some times for sharing. She accepted by invitations. We went around the city. We have some snacks around. Then, we went to Sugarland for lunch. I selected the corner of the restaurant. We made our order. Then, while waiting for our order, at the corner of the restaurant, I brought out a copy of a song, which I copied, a very popular song in the 60’s and 70’s, I first heard sang by Petula Clark, “This is My Song”. I do not have a good singing voice. I sang it softly that morning with Hesther, only listening to me. She’s my only audience. I sang softly.

”Why is my heart so light, Why are the stars so bright
Why is the sky so blue, Since the hour I met you.

Flowers are smiling bright, Smiling for our delight
Smiling so tenderly, For the world, you and me.

I knew why the world is smiling, Smiling so tenderly
It hears the same old story, Through all eternity.

Love, this is my song, here is my song
A serenade to you.
The world cannot be wrong, If in this world there is you.

I care not what the world may say,
Without your love there is, no day.
So…love… this is my song, here is my song,
A serenade to you.”

I hold Hesthers hands. I looked straight on her eyes. Then I said. “Do you love me?”

She looked at me. And smiled. “But, you never not told me, you love me?”

I said: “I told you now, with my song. Though I have told you a thousand times, through many ways the last many, many months. I loved you, really.” I touched Hesther’s lips. And kissed my fingers that touched her lips. That was our first kiss.
After she accepted my love.

My timetable of two months to win Hesther’s love was reached on time.

After we arrived at Maao Central, we talked again. I asked Hesther, if she will agree that we will get married in two months time. I told her, I am in a hurry to get married for I am already 37 years old. I told her, in another 3 months, I am already too old, perhaps to be loved by girls. So, she we must be married before I reached 37 years and 6 months old. If it’s alright with her, we will get married on April, a month before her birthday. We made a decision. We made a tentative date for our marriage, on April 19. We will finalized it after we have talked with Hesther’s parents.

Immediately, we prepared for our wedding. Hesther’s wedding dress was simple.
It was made by her very close friend in Bacolod City, who has a dress shop. When the church knew that our marriage was set, they helped us. The church bought my Barong Tagalog. They also bought clothes to be made my trouser. They bought me new shoes. Two popular tailors in Maao, made my shirts and pants for free, Jun Escoton and Rudy Pallana.

We talked also to my future mothe-in-law, Nene Leonor Alvarez. We told her of our plan to get married. Her tears came falling slowly. But she gave us her consent. Then she said: “Please, bring you parents so that we can met and talked with each other.” I told my future mother- in-law. I said: “Nene, is it possible that my mother and father will come few days before our wedding?” But Nene Leonor looked at me straight in my eyes and said: “No!”. Bring them here anytime. We need to talk together, before you set your wedding date”. I know my future mother- in-law. She was strong willed. I told here my parents will come.

I understood my future mother-in-law. For about 8 years ago, my very close friend, George Angel, when he was getting married, he also has to bring his father, uncle and me, to Cainta, Rizal, so they can talked about George and Helen’s marriage with her parents. Helen’s parents asked to meet first, and talked marriage with Goerge father and uncle, who also came all the way, from Sablan, in Benguet province, near Baguio City.

We set Thursday for the traditional “kagon”, the day my parents met Hesther parents to ask their permission for us to get married and set the date the wedding date.

Monday morning, at 3:00 AM I left Hinobaan, took a bus to Bago City. Then I took a jeepney for Maao Central. I arrived at Hesther’s home at 11:00 A.M. We talked with my coming parents-in-laws. I took time with Hesther to make plans for our wedding.

The following day, Tuesday, at 5:00 AM, I went to Bacolod City. Took a boat at 7:00 AM
to Iloilo City. Around 10:30, I took a bus from Iloilo to Carles, 160 kms the northern most town of the province. I arrived in Carles about 4:00 PM. I stayed in Carles for a day with my parents, sharing with my 8 brothers and sisters, visiting my uncles and unties, inviting them to our wedding. My untie, Nene Auring, said: “Oh, Rudy, at last, you’re getting married! Be sure to bring your wife here immediately after your wedding Your former girl friend here has already 5 children. And laughed”. They gave me some amount for my wedding. Then, on Thursday, at 5:00 PM. with my mother and father we went to Iloilo City.

Myrna, my younger sister, who was taking Education at CPU, joined me. Then, we proceeded to Bacolod City by ferry boat. It was two hours ride. We took a jeepney to Maao Central. We arrived at 4:30 PM. After the usual greetings and introduction and snacks, my parents went to a room reserved for them to take a little rest. We will met together with Hesthers parents and relatives at 7:00 PM, before supper.

That night, my parents and Hesther’s parents with their two close relatives, joined for supper. They talked with us and our plans for marriage. It was a simple talk. It was a time of sharing. A way to start friends and relations. And I think, Nene Leonor was right, for us all to know each other betore our wedding. She wants to know my parents, talk to them, share some little experience of life with them, get a bit closer.

They gave us their consent to get married. The following day, early at 7:30 AM, my parents with my younger sister, went back to Iloilo City, then proceeded to Carles. Another job finished to be able get married.

Two days later, I went to Hinobaan, more than 200 kms away in the south, the last town of Negros Occidental, were I work with UIM Pilot project. The following Sunday, I preached at Bacuyangan Evangelical Church. I shared with the church my exeriences. I shared with them my coming wedding.

I asked, Pastor Candolita to sing two songs in our wedding. And during snack after our wedding, I requested her to sing a song, I heard first from Brenda Lee in 1966, “Let It Be Me”. The members were very happy to learn I am getting married. They thought I will lived a bachelor, forever. The church sent us their wedding gifts. Some young people from Bacuyangan Baptist Church came during our wedding day.

That Monday, I went again to Maao Central. We will make our Invitation letter. My friend printed it in his small printshop. We made 100 cards with envelops, for our friends. All the young people has only l invitation letter. Also the Women, Baptist Men, the Board and Church Deacons, have one invitations. That afternoon, Hesther, asked me to go with her to the sugar cane field with a rice newly harvested, about 300 meters from their home. We got some dried small twigs and dried leaves.

Hesther cut the twigs and leaves. She pasted the leaves and twigs on front of our Invitation Letter. It was beautiful. It’s unique. It was natural. It was priceless. For it cost us nothing. The invitation was given free by a friend. And the décor we used on our invitation letter, was free –made of dried leaves and twigs from the rice field.

This week, as I wrote this Chapter 34 of an Auto-Biography, I looked at our Wedding Invitation Card. It was there, well kept with the twigs and leaves on the cover. It was kept by Hesther until today, June 8, 2017. Then, we pasted the twigs and dried leaves. Our Invitation Cards read: “Thursday, April 20, 1978 at 2:30 in the afternoon, will be one of our special days, as we unite our lives in a bond of holy matrimony at Maao Central Evangelical Church, Maao Central, Bago City.

“This solemn occasion will also be a moment of dedication and consecration, as now together, we will seek His way, follow His leadings and do His will for our lives.

“Our parents, Mr. & Mrs Childe M. Alvarez and Mr. & Mrs.Restituto Bernal, Sr., our officiating ministers, Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupaz, together with our sponsors Mrs. Titay A. Puerto, Mrs. Clarita Villasenor, Miss Fe Amelia Daraug and Mr.Alejandrino Tupas, Mr. Teodorico Villaflor & Mr. Ner Ramos, will be there to give us their blessings.
We would be happy if you could join us in this occasion. Thanks.– Rudy & Hesther.”

We requested Rev. Edwin Lopez, General Secretary and Rev, Alfeo Tupas Tupas, Field Secretary of the Convention to solemnize our wedding. We requested Maao Central Evangelical Church choir to sing two songs. We requested Art Samson and Miss Candolita to sing beautiful songs in our marriage. Rev. Judson Herbilla, Pastor of Maao Central Evangelical Church and a very good friend was my Best Man. With him, nearby was also his girlfriend, Ana, who later became his wife. They were also close to us.

All the young people of the church were there. All the Baptist Women joined us. And all the Baptist Men assisted us. Many young people in the community, came and joined us. I asked Mr. and Mrs. Ner Ramos, who were living in Sibucao, San Enrique to come, for they were when we were in Dumangas Baptist Church. Mrs. Ramos was the Treasurer of Dumangas Baptist Church in 1960.

My friends, Fred and Victoria Bat-og also came. They both helped me when I was new in Negros Occidental. Rev. Esfe Tandog and Mrs. Nelly Torres Tandog were with us.

The Baptist Women helped much to provide the snacks. They helped prepared everything.

Mrs. Pallana, who was beautician worked on the bride, the brides maids, my mother, my mother-in-law and my sister and most of girls.

And Rene Billy Carvajal, my cousin, representing the family, came and join me in our wedding. He helped in making the tents and physical arrangements with the Young People and the Baptist Men. Maao Central Evangelical Church helped us and assisted us in all the works that has to be done.

The relatives of Hesther were there. The boys helped in preparation of the pig that was slauthered. They worked together. My uncle, Estelito Bernal, a municipal councilor of Carles, arrived also that evening before our wedding. He shared with some cases of beer for the family, friends and the men and boys. Beer helped a little in driving away tireness and sleep.

Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupas solemnized our wedding. It was beautiful wedding celebrations. The wrote the whole wedding process. They gave us the copy. We kept it. And kept it until today.

Our wedding was a simple wedding. A wonderful wedding that we could never forget. It was wonderful day.

The most exciting was my first kiss with my wife, Hesther. The kiss after the wedding. Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupas, gave us beautiful and touching reminders, while standing and kneeling, for nearly an hour listening to the beautiful songs of the choir, the solos and prayers. The most awaited part by our members, was when the billow was lifted from the face of the bride, and the Officiating Minister, Rev. Tupas, said: “Now, time to kiss the bride.” Then he whispered to me. “Rudy, go ahead fast!” The young people were shouting. Some have their cameras, ready to take the shot of our first kiss.

I looked at the congregations and the people at the altar. I got a little frightened. Quite
hard to kiss a girl, when lots of people were looking and laughing. “I came close to my bride. I touched her check and lifted a little her face. I closed my eyes. And kissed her straight on her lips. I kissed her a little bit hard with my arms tight on her waist.”

And, I learned a wonderful secret. The first kiss after the wedding, was really the sweetist kiss a man could ever experienced and will always remember. I told the bachelors around to move fast and have their weddings, and experienced the sweetness of the first kiss after their wedding celebration.”

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