Chapter 14 - My Courtship and Marriage with Hesther Alvarez

                                         Chapter 14

                         My  Courtship and Marriage with Hesther  Alvarez

I got married   in  April 19, 1978.  It was on the 3^rd  Year of my ministry at Maao Central Evangelical Church. I was 39 years old. New things developed in my life, my ministry, my economic situations. And my  political perspectives. It was now 6 years after President Marcos declared martial law.  On my birthday in November 1977, I  made the decision to   court Hesther and marry her, if possible,   4 months later.

On  November  23, 1977,   my birthday, I left Hinobaan early.  I  visited Hesther in Maao Central.  We were  already very close friends. He was very helpful while I was pastor of Maao Central Evangelical Church. We remained very good friends. I did not court her. Though, I felt and knew she’s very lovable. On that day,   I  made  my  decision.  I will court  her,  make her my girlfriend.  And soon, my  wife. 

She has a good  singing voice. Petite. And quite real feminine  when she talks and  moves.  She finished her Commerce course. She was working with  Maao Planters Association.  It was a big association of sugar planters with more than a thousand members.

I saw her other potentials as a Pastor’s wife.  She’s of Convention Baptist faith all her life.  She  taught Junior grades at   Sunday School. She sang in the choir. She was asked sometimes to be the soloist.  Sometimes, when I am writing materials for printing,  I asked her to read my drafts.  She  make some corrections.

Hesther has flair for language.  She  could  do proofreading and editing works  She’s   soft spoken.  But firm when she  made  decisions. These were potentials, I will need  to succeed  in  my  ministry. Or some works,  God will call me in the future.

When I visited  her, often  every two weeks,  I  have a beautiful Bible verse to give her.  One time, I gave her a book, of  poems, “Beyond Forgetting” by Rolando Carbonel. Hesther  loves to read poetry. 

That morning, I  invited her to join me to   Bacolod City. I told her, we need some times, for sharing and planning together.  She joined me.  We went  some places in the city. At lunch time, we went to Sugarland.  I selected  a  corner of the restaurant. We made our order. I knew Mr. and Mrs. Felix Yusay, the owners of Sugarland. They also owned Bacolod Supermart, where years before,  Pete Rivera and I build his Record Bar inside Bacolod Supermart.

While waiting for our order, at the corner of the restaurant, I brought out a copy of a song, which I copied. It was a very popular song  in the 60’s and 70’s,  I first heard it  sang by Petula Clark, I could not remember now the writer of the song.   I do not  have a good singing voice.  I sang it softly  that morning with Hesther, my only listener.  It was a beautiful song.

                                       “This Is My Song”

”Why is  my heart so  light?  Why are the stars so bright.

Why is the sky so blue?  Since the hour I met you.

Flowers are smiling bright.  Smiling for our delight

Smiling so tenderly,  For  the world, you and me.

I knew  why the world is smiling. Smiling so tenderly

It hears the same old story. Through  all eternity.

Love... this is my song… here is my song

 A serenade to you.

The world cannot be wrong,

If in this world there is you.

I care not what the world may say,

Without your love,  there is, no day.

So…love… this is my song,  here is a song,

A serenade to you.”

I hold Hesthers hands. I looked straight on her eyes. Then I said. “Do you love me?”

She looked at me. And said.  “But,  you did not told me,  you  love me?”

I said:  “I  told you  now, with my song.  Though I have told  you a thousand times, through  many ways the last many, many  months.  I loved you, really.”  I touched Hesther’s lips.  And kissed my  fingers that touched  her lips. That was our first kiss.

After she accepted my  love, I tried to make final plans with her. My timetable of two months to win Hesther’s love was reached on time.

After we arrived  at Maao Central, we talked again.   I asked Hesther, if she will agree that we will get married in two months time. I told her. ”You know, Hesth, I  am in a hurry to get married for I am already  37 years old.  In another 3 months, I am already 38.  Too old, perhaps to  be loved by girls.  We must get  married before  I reached  that age.”  If  it’s  alright, on April, a month before her birthday. 

We made a decision. We  made a tentative date for our marriage, on  April 19.  We will finalized  it after  we have talked with Hesther’s parents.

We talked  that evening with my future father-in law. Tatay Childe Alvarez gave us his permission.  Then, we went to her mother, my future mother-in-law.    We told her of  our plan to get married.  Her tears came falling slowly.   She told us, there’s  no problem. Then she said.   “Please, bring you parents so that we can met and talked with each other.”  I told my future mother- in-law.  “Nene, is it alright, if my  mother and father will come  few  days before our wedding?”

But  Nene Leonor looked at me straight in my eyes and said:   “No!”. Bring them  here  anytime. We need to talk  together, before  you set  your  wedding date”.   I  know my future mother- in-law.  She was strong willed.  I told  here  my  parents  will come.

Immediately, we  prepared  for our wedding.   Hesther’s wedding dress was simple.

It  was  made by her very close friend in   Bacolod City, who  has a dress shop. When the church knew that our marriage was set, they helped us. The church bought my Barong Tagalog. They also bought clothes to be made  my trouser. They bought me  new pair of  shoes. Two popular tailors in Maao, made my shirts and pants  for  free,  Jun  Escoton  and Rudy Pallana.

I understood my future mother-in-law. For about 8 years ago, my very close friend, George Angel, has to  bring his father   and me, to Cainta, Rizal, so they  could  talked  George and Helen’s marriage.   Helen’s  parents  asked  to meet first,  with Goerge parents,  to talk marriage. George has to fetch his father,  all the way  from Sablan,   Benguet passing Baguio City,  to Cainta, Rizal. 

We set Thursday for the traditional “kagon”, the day my parents met Hesther parents to ask their permission for us to get married and set the the wedding date. I went back to Hinobaan. I preached that morning.

Next Monday morning,   at 3:00 AM,  I left  Hinobaan,   took a bus to Bago City. Then,  took  a jeepney for Maao Central. I arrived at Hesther’s home at  11:00 A.M.  We talked with my coming parents-in-laws. I took  time with Hesther to make plans for our wedding.

The following day, Tuesday, at 5:00 AM,  I went to Bacolod City. Took a boat at 7:00 AM to Iloilo City.  Around 10:30, I took  a bus to  Carles, 150 kms., away,  the northern most town of the province.  I arrived in Carles about 4:00 PM.  I stayed in Carles for a day  with my parents, sharing  time with my 3  brothers and  sisters, visiting my uncles and unties, inviting them to our wedding.

My untie, Nene Auring Alvaro, said: “Oh, Rudy, at last, you’re  getting married! Be sure to bring your wife here immediately after your wedding Your former girl friend here has already 3 children.”  They gave me some  amount for my wedding.  Then, on Thursday, at 5:00 PM.  with my mother and  father we went to Iloilo City.

Myrna, my younger sister,  who was taking Education at CPU, joined me.   We  proceeded to Bacolod City by  ferry boat.  It was two hours ride.   We took a jeepney to  Maao Central.  We arrived  at  4:30 PM.  After the usual greetings and introduction and snacks,  my parents went to a   room  reserved for  them to take a   little rest.  We  will  met together with Hesthers parents and relatives at 7:00 PM,  before supper.

That night, my parents and  Hesther’s parents with their two close relatives met and talked. We told them of our plans to get married.  They   talked with us.  It was a simple talk. It was a time of sharing. A way to start closer  friendship  and relations. And I think, Nene Leonor was right. The need, for us all to know each other betore our wedding.  She wants to know my parents, talk to them, share some little experiences of life with them  and   bit closer to each other.

They gave us their consent for marriage.   The following day, early at 7:30 AM, my parents with my younger  sister, serving as guide of my parents,  went back to Iloilo City. Then,  proceeded to Carles. Another job finished.  We will soon be married. 

Two days later, I went to Hinobaan, more than 200 kms away in the south, the last town of  Negros Occidental,  were I work  with UIM Pilot project. The following  Sunday, I preached at Bacuyangan Evangelical Church.  I shared with the church  my exeriences. I shared with them my coming wedding. I asked, Pastor Candolita to sing two songs in our wedding. 

I requested her also to sing a song, during our wedding  reception.  I  heard the song before from Brenda Lee,  “Let It Be Me”.   The members were  happy to learn I am getting married.  They thought,  I will lived a bachelor,  forever.    The church sent us their wedding gifts. Some young  people from Bacuyangan Evangelical Church came during our wedding day.

That Monday, I went again  to Maao Central.  We will  make  our Invitation  letters.  My friend printed it   in   his   small printshop. We  made 100  cards with envelops, for our friends.  All the young people has only l invitation letter. Also the Women, Baptist Men, the Board and Church Deacons.   That afternoon, Hesther, asked me to go with her to the sugar cane field with a rice newly harvested,  about 300 meters from  our  home.  She got some dried small twigs and dried leaves.

Hesther cut the twigs and leaves. She pasted the leaves and  twigs on  front of our Invitation Letter.  It was beautiful. It’s unique. It  was  natural. It was  priceless. For it cost us nothing. The invitation was given free by a friend. And the décor we used on our invitation letters, were  free –made of dried leaves and twigs from the rice and sugarcane  fields.

This week, as I wrote this Chapter  of my  Auto-Biography, I looked  at our Wedding  Invitation Card. It was there, well kept  with the twigs and leaves on the cover. It was  kept by Hesther until today, Sunday,  October 8, 2017.  Then, we pasted the twigs and dried  leaves.

Our Invitation Cards read: “Thursday, April 20, 1978 at 2:30 in the afternoon, will be one of our special days, as we unite our  lives in a bond of holy matrimony at Maao Central Evangelical Church, Maao Central, Bago City.

“This solemn occasion will also be a moment of dedication  and consecration, as now together, we will seek His way, follow His leadings and do His will for our lives.

“Our parents, Mr. &  Mrs Childe M. Alvarez and Mr. & Mrs. Restituto Bernal, Sr., our officiating ministers, Rev.  Edwin Lopez and Rev.  Alfeo Tupaz, together with our sponsors Mrs. Titay A. Puerto, Mrs. Clarita Villasenor, Miss Fe Amelia Daraug and Mr. Alejandrino Tupas, Mr. Teodorico Villaflor &  Mr. Ner Ramos, will be there to give us their blessings.

We would be happy if you could join us in this occasion.  Thanks.– Rudy & Hesther.”

We requested  Rev. Edwin Lopez, General Secretary  and Rev,  Alfeo Tupas Tupas, Field Secretary of the Baptist Convention to solemnize our wedding. We requested Maao Central Evangelical Church choir to sing two songs. We requested Art Samson and Miss Candolita  to sing two beautiful songs in our wedding ceremony. 

Rev. Judson Herbilla, Pastor of Maao Central  Evangelical Church  and a very good friend was my  Best Man. With him, nearby was  also his girlfriend, Ana, who soon, became his wife, married in the same church.  They were both  closed  to us.

Most of  the young people of the church were there.  But I did not see Linda Bulaclac. I wondeed why she was  not around on our wedding. It was only now, this 2016 when I was able to asked her, why she was not around on our wedding.  She said, she was around. But  only her sister Lota and Lolita attended. She has to take care of her  younger brothers and sisters.

Most of  the Baptist Women joined us. And all the Baptist Men assisted us. Many young people in the community, came and joined us.   I asked Mr. and Mrs. Ner Ramos, who were living in Sibucao, San Enrique to  come, for  we knew each other, when they were in Dumangas.  Mrs. Ramos was the Treasurer of Dumangas Baptist Church in 1961.

My friends, Fred and Victoria Bat-og also  came. They both helped me when I was new in Negros Occidental. Rev. Esfe Tandog and Mrs. Nelly Torres Tandog were with us.

The Baptist Women helped much to provide the snacks. They helped prepared everything.

Mrs. Pallana, who was  beautician worked on the bride, the brides maids, my mother, my mother-in-law and my sister and most of girls.

And Rene Billy Carvajal,  my cousin, representing the family, came, joined and helped  me in our wedding. He helped in making the tents and physical arrangements with the Young People and the Baptist Men.  Maao Central Evangelical Church helped us and assisted us in all the works that has to be done.

The relatives of Hesther were there. The boys  helped in preparation of the pig that was slauthered. They worked together. My uncle, Estelito  Bernal,  a municipal councilor of  Carles,  arrived also that evening before our wedding.  He shared with some cases of beer for the  family, friends and  the men and boys. Beer helped a little in driving away tiredness and sleep.

Rev. Edwin Lopez and  Rev. Alfeo Tupas solemnized our wedding. It was beautiful wedding celebrations. They wrote the whole wedding process. They gave us the copy. We kept it.  And I kept it until today.

Our wedding was a simple wedding.  A  wonderful  wedding that we could  never forget.  

Most exciting was my first kiss   with my wife, Hesther. The   kiss  after the wedding.  Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupas,  gave us  beautiful and touching reminders,  while standing and  kneeling, for nearly an hour listening to the beautiful songs of the choir, the solos  and prayers.

The most awaited part by our members, was when the  billow  was  lifted from the face of the bride, and  the Officiating Minister,  Rev. Tupas, said.  “Now,  time to kiss the bride.”

Then he whispered to me.  “Rudy,  go ahead fast!”  The young people were shouting. Some have their cameras, ready to take the shot of  our  first kiss. Some were clapping their hands. Some young people were shouting. It was a wonderful  day.

I looked at the congregations and the people at  the altar.  I got a bit  frightened. Quite hard to kiss a girl, when  lots of people were looking and laughing.  “I came close to my bride. I touched her check and lifted a little her face. I closed my eyes. And  kissed her  straight on her  lips. I kissed her a little bit hard with my arms tight  on her waist.” 

That afternoon,  I learned another  secret.  “The  first  kiss after the wedding, was really the sweetest kiss a man could ever experienced and will always  remember. I told the bachelors around to move fast and have their weddings,   and experienced  the  sweetness of the first kiss after the wedding celebration.”