Chapter 14
My Courtship and Marriage with Hesther Alvarez
I got married in April 19, 1978. It was on the 3rd Year of my ministry at Maao Central Evangelical Church. I was 39 years old. New things developed in my life, my ministry, my economic situations. And my political perspectives. It was now 6 years after President Marcos declared martial law. On my birthday in November 1977, I made the decision to court Hesther and marry her, if possible, 4 months later.
On November 23, 1977, my birthday, I left Hinobaan early. I visited Hesther in Maao Central. We were already very close friends. He was very helpful while I was pastor of Maao Central Evangelical Church. We remained very good friends. I did not court her. Though, I felt and knew she’s very lovable. On that day, I made my decision. I will court her, make her my girlfriend. And soon, my wife.
She has a good singing voice. Petite. And quite real feminine when she talks and moves. She finished her Commerce course. She was working with Maao Planters Association. It was a big association of sugar planters with more than a thousand members.
I saw her other potentials as a Pastor’s wife. She’s of Convention Baptist faith all her life. She taught Junior grades at Sunday School. She sang in the choir. She was asked sometimes to be the soloist. Sometimes, when I am writing materials for printing, I asked her to read my drafts. She make some corrections.
Hesther has flair for language. She could do proofreading and editing works She’s soft spoken. But firm when she made decisions. These were potentials, I will need to succeed in my ministry. Or some works, God will call me in the future.
When I visited her, often every two weeks, I have a beautiful Bible verse to give her. One time, I gave her a book, of poems, “Beyond Forgetting” by Rolando Carbonel. Hesther loves to read poetry.
That morning, I invited her to join me to Bacolod City. I told her, we need some times, for sharing and planning together. She joined me. We went some places in the city. At lunch time, we went to Sugarland. I selected a corner of the restaurant. We made our order. I knew Mr. and Mrs. Felix Yusay, the owners of Sugarland. They also owned Bacolod Supermart, where years before, Pete Rivera and I build his Record Bar inside Bacolod Supermart.
While waiting for our order, at the corner of the restaurant, I brought out a copy of a song, which I copied. It was a very popular song in the 60’s and 70’s, I first heard it sang by Petula Clark, I could not remember now the writer of the song. I do not have a good singing voice. I sang it softly that morning with Hesther, my only listener. It was a beautiful song.
“This Is My Song”
”Why is my heart so light? Why are the stars so bright.
Why is the sky so blue? Since the hour I met you.
Flowers are smiling bright. Smiling for our delight
Smiling so tenderly, For the world, you and me.
I knew why the world is smiling. Smiling so tenderly
It hears the same old story. Through all eternity.
Love... this is my song… here is my song
A serenade to you.
The world cannot be wrong,
If in this world there is you.
I care not what the world may say,
Without your love, there is, no day.
So…love… this is my song, here is a song,
A serenade to you.”
I hold Hesthers hands. I looked straight on her eyes. Then I said. “Do you love me?”
She looked at me. And said. “But, you did not told me, you love me?”
I said: “I told you now, with my song. Though I have told you a thousand times, through many ways the last many, many months. I loved you, really.” I touched Hesther’s lips. And kissed my fingers that touched her lips. That was our first kiss.
After she accepted my love, I tried to make final plans with her. My timetable of two months to win Hesther’s love was reached on time.
After we arrived at Maao Central, we talked again. I asked Hesther, if she will agree that we will get married in two months time. I told her. ”You know, Hesth, I am in a hurry to get married for I am already 37 years old. In another 3 months, I am already 38. Too old, perhaps to be loved by girls. We must get married before I reached that age.” If it’s alright, on April, a month before her birthday.
We made a decision. We made a tentative date for our marriage, on April 19. We will finalized it after we have talked with Hesther’s parents.
We talked that evening with my future father-in law. Tatay Childe Alvarez gave us his permission. Then, we went to her mother, my future mother-in-law. We told her of our plan to get married. Her tears came falling slowly. She told us, there’s no problem. Then she said. “Please, bring you parents so that we can met and talked with each other.” I told my future mother- in-law. “Nene, is it alright, if my mother and father will come few days before our wedding?”
But Nene Leonor looked at me straight in my eyes and said: “No!”. Bring them here anytime. We need to talk together, before you set your wedding date”. I know my future mother- in-law. She was strong willed. I told here my parents will come.
Immediately, we prepared for our wedding. Hesther’s wedding dress was simple.
It was made by her very close friend in Bacolod City, who has a dress shop. When the church knew that our marriage was set, they helped us. The church bought my Barong Tagalog. They also bought clothes to be made my trouser. They bought me new pair of shoes. Two popular tailors in Maao, made my shirts and pants for free, Jun Escoton and Rudy Pallana.
I understood my future mother-in-law. For about 8 years ago, my very close friend, George Angel, has to bring his father and me, to Cainta, Rizal, so they could talked George and Helen’s marriage. Helen’s parents asked to meet first, with Goerge parents, to talk marriage. George has to fetch his father, all the way from Sablan, Benguet passing Baguio City, to Cainta, Rizal.
We set Thursday for the traditional “kagon”, the day my parents met Hesther parents to ask their permission for us to get married and set the wedding date. I went back to Hinobaan. I preached that morning.
Next Monday morning, at 3:00 AM, I left Hinobaan, took a bus to Bago City. Then, took a jeepney for Maao Central. I arrived at Hesther’s home at 11:00 A.M. We talked with my coming parents-in-laws. I took time with Hesther to make plans for our wedding.
The following day, Tuesday, at 5:00 AM, I went to Bacolod City. Took a boat at 7:00 AM to Iloilo City. Around 10:30, I took a bus to Carles, 150 kms., away, the northern most town of the province. I arrived in Carles about 4:00 PM. I stayed in Carles for a day with my parents, sharing time with my 3 brothers and sisters, visiting my uncles and unties, inviting them to our wedding.
My untie, Nene Auring Alvaro, said: “Oh, Rudy, at last, you’re getting married! Be sure to bring your wife here immediately after your wedding Your former girl friend here has already 3 children.” They gave me some amount for my wedding. Then, on Thursday, at 5:00 PM. with my mother and father we went to Iloilo City.
Myrna, my younger sister, who was taking Education at CPU, joined me. We proceeded to Bacolod City by ferry boat. It was two hours ride. We took a jeepney to Maao Central. We arrived at 4:30 PM. After the usual greetings and introduction and snacks, my parents went to a room reserved for them to take a little rest. We will met together with Hesthers parents and relatives at 7:00 PM, before supper.
That night, my parents and Hesther’s parents with their two close relatives met and talked. We told them of our plans to get married. They talked with us. It was a simple talk. It was a time of sharing. A way to start closer friendship and relations. And I think, Nene Leonor was right. The need, for us all to know each other betore our wedding. She wants to know my parents, talk to them, share some little experiences of life with them and bit closer to each other.
They gave us their consent for marriage. The following day, early at 7:30 AM, my parents with my younger sister, serving as guide of my parents, went back to Iloilo City. Then, proceeded to Carles. Another job finished. We will soon be married.
Two days later, I went to Hinobaan, more than 200 kms away in the south, the last town of Negros Occidental, were I work with UIM Pilot project. The following Sunday, I preached at Bacuyangan Evangelical Church. I shared with the church my exeriences. I shared with them my coming wedding. I asked, Pastor Candolita to sing two songs in our wedding.
I requested her also to sing a song, during our wedding reception. I heard the song before from Brenda Lee, “Let It Be Me”. The members were happy to learn I am getting married. They thought, I will lived a bachelor, forever. The church sent us their wedding gifts. Some young people from Bacuyangan Evangelical Church came during our wedding day.
That Monday, I went again to Maao Central. We will make our Invitation letters. My friend printed it in his small printshop. We made 100 cards with envelops, for our friends. All the young people has only l invitation letter. Also the Women, Baptist Men, the Board and Church Deacons. That afternoon, Hesther, asked me to go with her to the sugar cane field with a rice newly harvested, about 300 meters from our home. She got some dried small twigs and dried leaves.
Hesther cut the twigs and leaves. She pasted the leaves and twigs on front of our Invitation Letter. It was beautiful. It’s unique. It was natural. It was priceless. For it cost us nothing. The invitation was given free by a friend. And the décor we used on our invitation letters, were free –made of dried leaves and twigs from the rice and sugarcane fields.
This week, as I wrote this Chapter of my Auto-Biography, I looked at our Wedding Invitation Card. It was there, well kept with the twigs and leaves on the cover. It was kept by Hesther until today, Sunday, October 8, 2017. Then, we pasted the twigs and dried leaves.
Our Invitation Cards read: “Thursday, April 20, 1978 at 2:30 in the afternoon, will be one of our special days, as we unite our lives in a bond of holy matrimony at Maao Central Evangelical Church, Maao Central, Bago City.
“This solemn occasion will also be a moment of dedication and consecration, as now together, we will seek His way, follow His leadings and do His will for our lives.
“Our parents, Mr. & Mrs Childe M. Alvarez and Mr. & Mrs. Restituto Bernal, Sr., our officiating ministers, Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupaz, together with our sponsors Mrs. Titay A. Puerto, Mrs. Clarita Villasenor, Miss Fe Amelia Daraug and Mr. Alejandrino Tupas, Mr. Teodorico Villaflor & Mr. Ner Ramos, will be there to give us their blessings.
We would be happy if you could join us in this occasion. Thanks.– Rudy & Hesther.”
We requested Rev. Edwin Lopez, General Secretary and Rev, Alfeo Tupas, Field Secretary of the Baptist Convention to solemnize our wedding. We requested Maao Central Evangelical Church choir to sing two songs. We requested Art Samson and Miss Candolita to sing two beautiful songs in our wedding ceremony.
Rev. Judson Herbilla, Pastor of Maao Central Evangelical Church and a very good friend was my Best Man. With him, nearby was also his girlfriend, Ana, who soon, became his wife, married in the same church. They were both closed to us.
Most of the young people of the church were there. But I did not see Linda Bulaclac. I wondeed why she was not around on our wedding. It was only now, this 2016 when I was able to asked her, why she was not around on our wedding. She said, she was around. But only her sister Lota and Lolita attended. She has to take care of her younger brothers and sisters.
Most of the Baptist Women joined us. And all the Baptist Men assisted us. Many young people in the community, came and joined us. I asked Mr. and Mrs. Ner Ramos, who were living in Sibucao, San Enrique to come, for we knew each other, when they were in Dumangas. Mrs. Ramos was the Treasurer of Dumangas Baptist Church in 1961.
My friends, Fred and Victoria Bat-og also came. They both helped me when I was new in Negros Occidental. Rev. Esfe Tandog and Mrs. Nelly Torres Tandog were with us.
The Baptist Women helped much to provide the snacks. They helped prepared everything.
Mrs. Pallana, who was beautician worked on the bride, the brides maids, my mother, my mother-in-law and my sister and most of girls.
And Rene Billy Carvajal, my cousin, representing the family, came, joined and helped me in our wedding. He helped in making the tents and physical arrangements with the Young People and the Baptist Men. Maao Central Evangelical Church helped us and assisted us in all the works that has to be done.
The relatives of Hesther were there. The boys helped in preparation of the pig that was slauthered. They worked together. My uncle, Estelito Bernal, a municipal councilor of Carles, arrived also that evening before our wedding. He shared with some cases of beer for the family, friends and the men and boys. Beer helped a little in driving away tiredness and sleep.
Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupas solemnized our wedding. It was beautiful wedding celebrations. They wrote the whole wedding process. They gave us the copy. We kept it. And I kept it until today.
Our wedding was a simple wedding. A wonderful wedding that we could never forget. Most exciting was my first kiss with my wife, Hesther. The kiss after the wedding. Rev. Edwin Lopez and Rev. Alfeo Tupas, gave us beautiful and touching reminders, while standing and kneeling, for nearly an hour listening to the beautiful songs of the choir, the solos and prayers.
The most awaited part by our members, was when the billow was lifted from the face of the bride, and the Officiating Minister, Rev. Tupas, said. “Now, time to kiss the bride.”
Then he whispered to me. “Rudy, go ahead fast!” The young people were shouting. Some have their cameras, ready to take the shot of our first kiss. Some were clapping their hands. Some young people were shouting. It was a wonderful day.
I looked at the congregations and the people at the altar. I got a bit frightened. Quite hard to kiss a girl, when lots of people were looking and laughing. “I came close to my bride. I touched her check and lifted a little her face. I closed my eyes. And kissed her straight on her lips. I kissed her a little bit hard with my arms tight on her waist.”
That afternoon, I learned another secret. “The first kiss after the wedding, was really the sweetest kiss a man could ever experienced and will always remember. I told the bachelors around to move fast and have their weddings, and experienced the sweetness of the first kiss after the wedding celebration.”
Part of the series The Ministry Years (chapter 14 of 48)
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