Chapter 45- (Retrospect 2) – Good Bye Hest!

Hesther was a fighter. When she was young, single, she fights when needed, She knew a little art of defending herself. She fought hard to finish college. She joined the choir in Central Maao Evangelical Church and worked hard to develop their voice with the other choir members. She sings solo when asked. Our choir was one of the best choir in Negros Occidental. The former choir director and the pastors have worked hard to developed the singing voices of the choir members of MCEC.

Hesther fought for her life after she developed cancer. It was hard fight. It was a long and lonely fight. It was a fight for life, her life.

We tried hard that she would have one of the most modern technology and medicine for cancer during that time., chemotherapy and radiation. We combined modern medicine with traditional medicine. She needed to have a strong mind, body and spirit. Many of her friends, also cancer patients and members of their Cancer’s Club in Iloilo City, each passed away the last 7 years. Hesther remained steadfast, strong and full of life both in the community, in our church and at home even while suffering pains.

She eats more vegetables and fish and less red meat. She tried to get more time for exercise. We go together to the beach walking at the salty waters. Some times we go swimming on the beach. We have little money but our fiends and the government assisted us. Her two chemotherapy were assisted by the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes. Her radiaticn treatcient for 28 days daily was assisted by the DOH. She was treated well. Hesther was seriously ill. She was sometimes treated at Iloilo Mission hospital. Or at Iloilo Medical Center. She died at St. Paul’s hospital.

My friends, Ake Svalfors and Olof Lindstrom sent some amount for her medications. Some of her classmates abroad sent her amount for hospitalization. But cancer was a hard battle to fight. People seldom won.

In mid-2009, I was hit with a stroke. I was Chairman of the Personnel Committee of the Convention of Philippine Baptist Churches. Rev. Arsenio Llamas was the President. Rev. Job Santiago was General Secretary. I was presiding the Personnel Committee meeting. The Committee was deliberating on Rev. Judson Herbilla, Sr., application for General Secretary. We have already finished deliberations on Rev. Edwin Lariza and Rev. Noel Luces application days before for General Secretary..

That morning, about 11:00 a.m. we were finalizing our interview with Rev. Judson Herbilla. The results will be presented to the Board of Trustees the following week. While presiding the meeting, I felt a kind of pain, a strange pain in my breast. I went to the CR.

When I came back, Rev. Joel Valdez came to me. He asked me how I felt. He sensed something wrong with me. He notices my pants were wet. I urinated in my pants without knowing. Mrs. Myrna Ilacio. and Mrs. Feraz Legita came to me. They asked me we go to Iloilo Mission Hospital. I told them I will just go home. I will take rest at home. But they persisted. They brought me to Iloilo Mission Hospital.

I was admitted to the Emergency Room. I was taken care of by the nurses. Then, about 30 minutes I felt so sleepy. I slept. It was a long sleep. I was told by my 2 sons who came, I lost consciousness 30 minutes later. I regained consciousness 37 hours after losing consciousness that afternoon. I remember telling Mrs. Feraz Legita to have me admitted at the Men’s Ward of IMH. I knew private rooms were expensive. We cannot afford it at that time.

But when my sisters Elvira and Myrna came, they transferred me to a private room. They feel they can care and watch me more easier in a private room. When I woked up, I saw my 2 sons. But I cannot remember their names. There was Mrs. Myrna Ilacio but I cannot remember her name too. I knew her only as Manay. It took me 4 days to remember my son’s names.

Their were two doctors working on me. One taking charge of my body. The other doctor was working on my brain and mind. They told me later, they were worried. I have gone unconscious before one of them arrived.

They had no knowledge and background of my sickness. They were just called when I was brought to the Emergency Room. I remembered Miss Deli Baclagon said she would call them. I have gone to a hospital only once, since I was born. That was for a stomach trouble. I stayed only one day. Looking at me, the doctors thought I got a stroke. Perhaps, a mild one or a serious stroke. .

Carefully, my doctors gave me medicine. Both for my stroke and my mind. I recovered fast. The doctors told me my recovery was fast. Really fast. The recovery of my body from a stroke. And the recovery of my mind and memory.

Hesther was really sick that week. She cannot visit me at the hospital. She has to stay at home with our two sons Noynoy and Dodo while my two sons, Rally and Toses were in the hospital with me. They told their mother I had a stroke. She did not answer. She kept silent. She told me later, she prayed. She really prayed very hard. She asked God to bring me back my health. She asked God for my fast recovery. I am needed by our children.

She told the Lord. “Lord, what will happen to our family, if Rudy died? I am weak with cancer. Soon, Lord I will die. I will die in few weeks or months. It would be very hard if Rudy live but helpless suffering from a stroke. Please, Lord, gave Rudy back his health. Please help him recover fast. She is needed by our children” God answered Hesther’s prayer.

Slowly, I recovered. I was released from the hospital 5 days later. My doctors told me to visit them every 2 weeks for the next four months.

Every time Hesther was hospitalized her younger sister, Mrs. Gilda Alvarez Dequena always came. She stayed until Hesther can go home. Also her elder sister, Mrs. Belen Puerto always came when she was in the hospital. They were here during her wake.

Her elder sister, Mrs. Rosea Alvarez Saplada came during her burial and assisted us. She gave us money for some needed expenses. Many of her cousins and relatives from Maao Central, Bago City and Negros Occidental came. Her youngest sister, Rachel Alvarez Abayon came and joined us for three days before her burial.

At her funeral at Lifegate Church, her sisters, brothers and some cousins from Negros came.

My brothers and sisters from Carles also came to be with her. Our cousins and friends in Carles and Iloilo City who were Seventh Day Adventists, visited her. My younger brother, Restituto Jr., the next to me, joined me the day after Hesther died. He stayed with us until she was buried. He did lots of work helping me at home on Hesther’s wake. There was a long and hard dry season. We have limited water at home. And our five neigbors opened their gates, so we can get water from their wells during that time of dry season.

Our friends in the Baptist Convention and the Ecumenical ministries, visited Hesther in her wake. Some came during her funeral.

Some officers and members of Gabriela Women’s Party came to her wake. The members of West Visayas Ecumenical Council joined her wake. She was their friend. Our neighbors in Leganes were there. Her classmates and friends from abroad wrote letters of condolences. She was part of their lives.

Rev. Albert Valdez delivered the Necrological Message. Lifegate Church Choir sang. I gave a short message, thanking all her friends, relatives and church members. Our 4 sons, Rally, Noynoy, Toses and Dodo were there at the front seats. They looked at their mother’s coffin with courageous hearts. Their eyes were red and moist. But they did not cry.

Rev. Joel Valdez, our compadre committed Hesther to the Lord during the worship service at Philippine American Cemetry Assoociation. It was a fitting remembrance for the woman who was part of my life and of our four children.

Before she died she talked to our children. To each of them, she had given her instructions. What they will do when she died and gone. The dress she will use on her burial was prepared. She entrusted it to Dodo, our youngest son. It was not new. But she tried to make it beautiful. She told my son, that the dress will be used on her burial. But if, I will ask that another dress will be used, they will follow my request.

My sister, Zenaida, a pastor and dressmaker made a new dress for Hesther. I requested it to be used. And the dress she prepared was put on her breast in the coffin.

The Special Music that was sang, she selected herself and requested the church music director to use it. She never told me of the preparations she made when she died and buried.

My sister Myrna, facilitated things from bringing her body from the hospital to the funeral home. I cannot do it. She was the one who did what was needed to be done. I only followed her. It was very hard when your wife was dead and around. I do not know what to do. God just gave me strength to look and move.

Mrs. Myrna Ilacio, came to our home carrying several curtains to be used that were presenatable during her wake. She also brought several cans of coffee and bread for the wake. That was why our home has beautiful curtains during Hesther’s wake.

My four sons were near her coffin when the last songs, message and prayers were made before she was interned at her grave at the Philippine American Cemetery Association, Inc., where we were members. We prepared two small space for our burial, one for her and one for me. A beautiful place, a clean place, a place where we often came for meditation and prayers. The officers of our association were there during her wake. They came and visited us at home in Leganes.

I asked Hesther during her wake not to leave me. That she will be with me always and guide me. I needed her help and presence to guide me and our four children in their early lives. I asked her to show me, what I will do, thru some dreams and visions. But Hesther never gave a dream. She did not show herself to me in visions. She just went home softly and joined the Lord.

But her spirit and thoughts were always with us. I felt it in many ways. She guided us, both me and our children. She’s spoke to us, to remind us of what we need to do. She did it through reminders. How she did and what she did before. Her presence was always with us! She died May 4, 2010. She was buried May 11.

Last May 10, 2010, the day before she will be buried, I opened her coffin while I was alone early that morning. I looked at her face for a long time. That was the last time, I will ever see her face. It was fresh. Her’s was a lovely face. She was smiling. I bowed down in the coffin. I touch her hair and her forehead. I want to embrace her. But she’s inside the coffin. I kissed her lips. I kissed it softly, tenderly and long. I closed the coffin. I looked at her face once more. Then, I said sofly. I Love you, my dearest! Good bye Hest!

I prayed for her. We knew the Lord’s promise. One day, we will meet and be together again. She seemed to tell me, Rudy move on! And, I did.